Biggest problem in my life: internet relationship

[AnneCuthbert]

Hey guys,
Are you ready for a big text? I hope so:

The truth: I am of an age of 14. ( But I need help and so I have had to choose the age of 18). I am a girl with a really big problem and I hope you can help me.

Maybe you know the game "Clash of Clans"? There I have met him the first time. Its about one year ago. I fell in love with him in the very first hour I have chatted with him. Yes, its incredible, but...it is how I said.

When I felt in love with him...I was of the opinion that nobody could fall in live with somebody, who he knows only on the internet.

And I didn't want to believe it. I didn't believe it, that I loved him.

We chatted much. I think about 6 hours a day. But only in the group chat in " Clash of Clans".

He was jealous. Because I had a best friend in this game and...this best friend was jealous too, I don't know why.

So...both were jealous.
The boy I loved, because he thinks I loved my best friend.
And my best friend, because he didn't want that I chatted with this boy and not with him, I don't know why he didn't wanted it.

So. The boy I loved gave me his WhatsApp number and we began to write on WhatsApp.
But I didn't wanted to wrote on WhatsApp, because I hadn't much time and I wanted to play Clash of Clans, chat with my best friend (I didn't wanted to lost him) AND to chat with him. But all went wrong.

Suddenly the boy I loved disappears from the group chat with the words, that he can't control his emotions any more, that he dont want to get more feelings for me, because he already loves a girl in his real life.

He went away.
But I sent him an invitation and he comes again. We didn't talked, because I was too anxious to talk with him and didn't know what should I do.
I didn't know too when he was online and when not.

So we didn't talk.

And then...one day...I went online in Clash of Clans and saw that my best friend has kicked him out of the group chat.

I was eager to write again with this boy I loved, and I didn't understand why my best friend has kicked him.

By the way: I have known my best friend not in real life too, only on the internet.

So.
Lots of months passed by.
And then...after my first big depressions...I decided to make a try to get in contact with this boy I loved again.

I wrote him on WhatsApp something like "...", because I wanted to see if he has blocked me or if...yes

He asked me what I want and something like this.

And we began to write again. The problem was, that my parents allowed me only to have my smartphone 2 hours in the weekend and during the school and after dinner since 21 o'clock.

And again I had the problem that I didnt want to lost my friend, the friends I had on Clash of Clans and the boy I loved.

And I wrote with this boy I loved. (I call him X from now on.)
You can't imagine how much I loved him, its unbelievable.

Gradually he said to me that he loves me...but I didn't said him that I loved him, because I was afraid to lose him or that it would get different or...yes.

But at some time I said it to him.

Now we chat since one year about 2 hours per day.
I have never seen him in my real life, but I know him more than every other person. And he too.

And now my problem:
I am afraid. I don't know what I should do, because he wants to met him, he wants to show me how much he loves me in real life, but I am afraid of meeting him.
I have fear that he wouldnt like how I look. Yes, sure he has lots of photos from me, but I think I don't look like I look at this photos.
Nobody would send bad pictures, I had send only my best pictures too.

And now I want to meet him since a half year, but I can because of my fear.

I have fear too that we wouldn't understand each other or something like this.

My biggest wish is that all stays like it is now, but I know that it can't go.

I am getting older and I will have lots of exams...and not enough time to write with him.

And I don't want to lost him, maybe if he began to loves another girl, even he says always that he can't love someone else than me.

What could I do?
What do you think about my "story"?

 

[DrownedFishOnFire]

Sounds like it's very real to you it sounds a lot for you to shoulder, heavy choices. How old are the guys and do they know you're this young?

What about taking a break from the game and socializing with schoolmates or friends in real life and see how you feel about it.

 

[AlexiMarie7]

Hi Anne,

It sounds like there have been some twists and turns in your story. I am glad you are wise enough to know that things cannot stay the same even if you would like them to.
Please try to focus on your exams to know for sure that you did your best on them. Anyone in your life who cares about you will want you to do well, and will encourage you to prioritise your studies to get the best results you can. Any boy around will understand this and be willing to give you more space and to wait for them to be over.

There is always vacation and other times to speak with friends and boys, but try to get yourself ready for your exams.

Does he live near you? Does anyone else in real life know that you have been speaking with him and are thinking about meeting him?

 

[Walker]

P.S. You don't have to be 18 to be here at SF. We've got plenty of 14 year old peeps here.

 

[Northern]

I've knowed 4 couples who meet on games or message boards. It can work.

With that said, it's tricky. It very easy to look nice and caring online. It's hard to really get to know someone.

In your case I'd be worried about the jalousy signs. Their is a thin line between jalous and abusive.

Good luck!