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Borderline Personality Disorder | What is BPD? | Signs of BPD
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Yeah, I think that's something that made me feel angry in dbt group - that I know all this stuff. Then at other times I also feel as if I need something more basic. But just the same, I find that providers don't really know how to behave with patients in order to get a good response. I found a general attitude toward the people in the group as being uncontrollable babies. Only two in the group may have been leaning that way but the way they were treated only antagonized them and made the situation worse.
Hi Hellyeah...,
A year and half ago or so, I had extensive psychological testing done. It took all day. The results put bpd in second with other diagnoses ahead of it but previously I was considered with bpd just through having been in treatment. I agree with some of my other diagnoses but agree with the bpd too. The thing is, there is much overlap so I think that what could appear to one provider as one condition could appear as something else to another. I think one has to consider their specific symptoms and if they are something the patient wants to overcome and then seek appropriate treatment for those issues. The patient would also need to be working with an open minded provider who will accept that a diagnosis is not conclusive but something needing to be reevaluated periodically maybe even by a new provider who has not been met with previously. I am happy to answer your questions with more specifics about my diagnoses if you'd like to ask. I feel as if I'm within the bpd category yet clearly in others as well. And also to be sure I am not a professional in the field. I only base my thoughts on my own experience as a patient. Happy to help in any way I can.
A year and half ago or so, I had extensive psychological testing done. It took all day. The results put bpd in second with other diagnoses ahead of it but previously I was considered with bpd just through having been in treatment. I agree with some of my other diagnoses but agree with the bpd too. The thing is, there is much overlap so I think that what could appear to one provider as one condition could appear as something else to another. I think one has to consider their specific symptoms and if they are something the patient wants to overcome and then seek appropriate treatment for those issues. The patient would also need to be working with an open minded provider who will accept that a diagnosis is not conclusive but something needing to be reevaluated periodically maybe even by a new provider who has not been met with previously. I am happy to answer your questions with more specifics about my diagnoses if you'd like to ask. I feel as if I'm within the bpd category yet clearly in others as well. And also to be sure I am not a professional in the field. I only base my thoughts on my own experience as a patient. Happy to help in any way I can.
Thank you for responding 
yes, I'd would love to slide into your inbox, lots of questions I wanna ask about BPD itself, you know from the patient's PoV. I'm so done having to read articles and videos about BPD kinda need to hear a more, personal story.
Anyway, I feel very rejected right now. Have you guys ever experienced this kind of feeling when you feel like people just dislike you (not hate) because you posted an instagram story and asked a question and no one replied? I know it's wrong, there might be tens of thousands reasons why no one responded (yet) but I hate it, seeing the views keep increasing and no one responded to me. I feel... rejected? ignored? alone. And I feel stupid because part of me knows that this is actually stupid to feel insecure of stuffs like this. Like probably the rational side of me but it kills me. It's very tempting to just give in to my insecurities and beat myself down and self-loathe, and then I feel really worthless.
yes, I'd would love to slide into your inbox, lots of questions I wanna ask about BPD itself, you know from the patient's PoV. I'm so done having to read articles and videos about BPD kinda need to hear a more, personal story.Anyway, I feel very rejected right now. Have you guys ever experienced this kind of feeling when you feel like people just dislike you (not hate) because you posted an instagram story and asked a question and no one replied? I know it's wrong, there might be tens of thousands reasons why no one responded (yet) but I hate it, seeing the views keep increasing and no one responded to me. I feel... rejected? ignored? alone. And I feel stupid because part of me knows that this is actually stupid to feel insecure of stuffs like this. Like probably the rational side of me but it kills me. It's very tempting to just give in to my insecurities and beat myself down and self-loathe, and then I feel really worthless.
Thank you for responding yes, I'd would love to slide into your inbox, lots of questions I wanna ask about BPD itself, you know from the patient's PoV. I'm so done having to read articles and videos about BPD kinda need to hear a more, personal story.
Anyway, I feel very rejected right now. Have you guys ever experienced this kind of feeling when you feel like people just dislike you (not hate) because you posted an instagram story and asked a question and no one replied? I know it's wrong, there might be tens of thousands reasons why no one responded (yet) but I hate it, seeing the views keep increasing and no one responded to me. I feel... rejected? ignored? alone. And I feel stupid because part of me knows that this is actually stupid to feel insecure of stuffs like this. Like probably the rational side of me but it kills me. It's very tempting to just give in to my insecurities and beat myself down and self-loathe, and then I feel really worthless.
yes, I'd would love to slide into your inbox, lots of questions I wanna ask about BPD itself, you know from the patient's PoV. I'm so done having to read articles and videos about BPD kinda need to hear a more, personal story.Anyway, I feel very rejected right now. Have you guys ever experienced this kind of feeling when you feel like people just dislike you (not hate) because you posted an instagram story and asked a question and no one replied? I know it's wrong, there might be tens of thousands reasons why no one responded (yet) but I hate it, seeing the views keep increasing and no one responded to me. I feel... rejected? ignored? alone. And I feel stupid because part of me knows that this is actually stupid to feel insecure of stuffs like this. Like probably the rational side of me but it kills me. It's very tempting to just give in to my insecurities and beat myself down and self-loathe, and then I feel really worthless.
Yes. That's why for my first blog site I disabled likes, so that I wouldn't feel hurt when there weren't any likes on there. For obviously if there weren't plenty of likes no one liked it.
It is 'wrong' as in unhealthy to depend on others for the liking and translating it that way, and pretty normal too.
Regarding BPD it makes no difference if you have a diagnosis or not, it's what you relate to.
I used to relate fully to the description, except for the anger (although after researching, I'd say that instead of exploding I'd implode). I've never seen it as an issue either way. Now, I'm not sure if I'd get a diagnosis of BPD which in the past I would've done. To be honest, I couldn't care either way. The label won't change my life.
I found one of the most common books on BPD really helpful and informative, it explained a lot of the processes behind what I was doing. Which even though I can't change all of it, I can change some - when I'm aware of it. I'd definitely recommend it - I hate you, don't leave me.
It is 'wrong' as in unhealthy to depend on others for the liking and translating it that way, and pretty normal too.
Regarding BPD it makes no difference if you have a diagnosis or not, it's what you relate to.
I used to relate fully to the description, except for the anger (although after researching, I'd say that instead of exploding I'd implode). I've never seen it as an issue either way. Now, I'm not sure if I'd get a diagnosis of BPD which in the past I would've done. To be honest, I couldn't care either way. The label won't change my life.
I found one of the most common books on BPD really helpful and informative, it explained a lot of the processes behind what I was doing. Which even though I can't change all of it, I can change some - when I'm aware of it. I'd definitely recommend it - I hate you, don't leave me.
Thank you for saying this. I have a possible diagnosis, although it has not been pinned down yet. But I agree that, if the cluster of symptoms resonates with you, it is worth considering. I relate to all of the 9 checkmarks for BPD except for probably the disassociative elements. And it would certainly go a long way toward explaining my struggles and difficulty in relating to people. I am going to start following this thread to see if it may be helpful for me.
I matched all the symptoms except the dissociative symptom as well and I've been diagnosed with BPD when I was 19 (I'm 30 now). I still feel that most of the symptoms fit me now; it's a chronic illness, but it does get better with time supposedly. But bottom line is, if you have all those symptoms, then you most likely have it. All you need to be diagnosed with BPD is technically 5 or more of the symptoms. You know yourself best and if you feel you match the disorder, then you probably do.
coming back here after experiencing another self-defeating self-blaming and self-harming ideation. I hate myself (BPD or not) for being too clingy to a certain person it makes myself feel sick, like WTH can't you just chill. And then I expect people/my S.O to be as needy, I wanna be needed, and it hurts when it doesn't happen that way. I feel even more despised of myself after this..
Do you need to know for sure? I found it helpful to read one of the classics on BPD - I hate you, don't leave me. (the title says it all). I've also found that everyone is different. Sometimes reading others experiences was helpful. A lot of it was. It helped me to understand myself, what I was doing, what was going on, and why. It taught me a lot. What wasn't helpful was when I'd transfer their experiences and think what their experiences were, was mine. Thinking that some of what I was doing was because of this or that, when it actually wasn't. Not really sure how to explain that. Kinda that seeing what wasn't there. It helped me see what was there, and had to be careful -still struggle with this - not to see what wasn't there too.
Reading up on it can never harm. You may never know for sure. And you don't need to be BPD to be able to identify with some of the behaviours and learn how to handle it from people who've been there. You don't need to be BPD to identify with people who are and find support.
Reading up on it can never harm. You may never know for sure. And you don't need to be BPD to be able to identify with some of the behaviours and learn how to handle it from people who've been there. You don't need to be BPD to identify with people who are and find support.
Do you need to know for sure? I found it helpful to read one of the classics on BPD - I hate you, don't leave me. (the title says it all). I've also found that everyone is different. Sometimes reading others experiences was helpful. A lot of it was. It helped me to understand myself, what I was doing, what was going on, and why. It taught me a lot. What wasn't helpful was when I'd transfer their experiences and think what their experiences were, was mine. Thinking that some of what I was doing was because of this or that, when it actually wasn't. Not really sure how to explain that. Kinda that seeing what wasn't there. It helped me see what was there, and had to be careful -still struggle with this - not to see what wasn't there too.
Reading up on it can never harm. You may never know for sure. And you don't need to be BPD to be able to identify with some of the behaviours and learn how to handle it from people who've been there. You don't need to be BPD to identify with people who are and find support.
Reading up on it can never harm. You may never know for sure. And you don't need to be BPD to be able to identify with some of the behaviours and learn how to handle it from people who've been there. You don't need to be BPD to identify with people who are and find support.
I read some things on internet but still it's not a diagnosis so. I guess it will take time !
This made me laugh. I know a lot of people don't want to work with people who've BPD. You seem to know though that honestly they just don't fully understand BPD.
I think if any therapist has great boundaries and understands it, it'd be okay. I met a therapist a few months ago. Gosh, months ago actually. Who could have done that. It didn't work out because of cultural misunderstandings. What I saw from her in the 4 times I met her though was that she would point out to me what I was doing. And she wouldn't take it personally but rather feel compassion for the person in front of her. That's what a therapist is meant to be able to do.
You've said about it before I wish there were someone else you could go to 
It doesn't mean you do or don't have BPD. It does mean you can learn about it, learn about yourself, learn how you work, and learn how to handle it.
I think if any therapist has great boundaries and understands it, it'd be okay. I met a therapist a few months ago. Gosh, months ago actually. Who could have done that. It didn't work out because of cultural misunderstandings. What I saw from her in the 4 times I met her though was that she would point out to me what I was doing. And she wouldn't take it personally but rather feel compassion for the person in front of her. That's what a therapist is meant to be able to do.
You've said about it before
I wish there were someone else you could go to It doesn't mean you do or don't have BPD. It does mean you can learn about it, learn about yourself, learn how you work, and learn how to handle it.
Why can't people mindread???
I was journaling this and decided to write it out here. I don't know what I'm hoping for. I doubt anyone will be able to give me any perspective on it, though of course if you can
Why can't people mindread? I expect them to. I expect them to know what I think and when they don't give me what I wanted - which I didn't specifically ask for but meant and intended - I'm really hurt and know that they don't care about me at all.
I wrote this after writing about E. Because E had told me I could reach out to her and yet when I reached out to her she wasn't there. She really and truly wasn't. It was a couple of weeks ago when I was freaking out and needing to use and sure I would end up using and not knowing how to handle it. I sent her a link to what I wrote with the words 'I just want to share'. Which could easily have meant to her that I'm not asking for and don't want a response. I want to share. I don't want replies. I did want her to reply. She didn't. I knew she didn't care. It's reminding me of what I wrote in my diary thread earlier. About being hurt with R'R. I sent him a link to what I wrote. He read it and replied. He replied to tell me it's amazing and thanks for sharing. That's not what I wanted. It means he isn't there. I didn't ask for what I wanted. Because to me it's evident. Sometimes, often, I can't ask for what I want. Because if they don't know then obviously they don't care.
Okay, I can't think of how to finish this and I've kinda said what I was thinking.
Why can't people mindread?????
I was journaling this and decided to write it out here. I don't know what I'm hoping for. I doubt anyone will be able to give me any perspective on it, though of course if you can
Why can't people mindread? I expect them to. I expect them to know what I think and when they don't give me what I wanted - which I didn't specifically ask for but meant and intended - I'm really hurt and know that they don't care about me at all.
I wrote this after writing about E. Because E had told me I could reach out to her and yet when I reached out to her she wasn't there. She really and truly wasn't. It was a couple of weeks ago when I was freaking out and needing to use and sure I would end up using and not knowing how to handle it. I sent her a link to what I wrote with the words 'I just want to share'. Which could easily have meant to her that I'm not asking for and don't want a response. I want to share. I don't want replies. I did want her to reply. She didn't. I knew she didn't care. It's reminding me of what I wrote in my diary thread earlier. About being hurt with R'R. I sent him a link to what I wrote. He read it and replied. He replied to tell me it's amazing and thanks for sharing. That's not what I wanted. It means he isn't there. I didn't ask for what I wanted. Because to me it's evident. Sometimes, often, I can't ask for what I want. Because if they don't know then obviously they don't care.
Okay, I can't think of how to finish this and I've kinda said what I was thinking.
Why can't people mindread?????