BPD Support Thread

[Innocent Forever]

Being bipolar is like being left handed to me now, it is something I have to accept for the rest of my life.

It actually is, unfortunately defined as a personality disorder.

You're referencing 2 different things - borderline vs bipolar.
Although there are similarities, the causes and results are different.

 

[Angie74]

I meant to say that BPD is clinically defined, by the DSM 4 (or is it 5, now?) as a personality disorder. But I did not mean to imply that a bipolar diagnosis is. Like Callousgirl said, there are vast differences between the 2.

 

[Angie74]

However, if you do your psych reading, there is a lot of overlap between these disorders. The history is really interesting.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

I get told not to take things so personally, but I really don't know how. I tend to cry or panic when I think someone feels negatively towards me. I don't know, I guess it's kind of pathetic.

 

[Angie74]

Not pathetic at all. I can definitely relate.

 

[Aurelia]

I get told not to take things so personally, but I really don't know how. I tend to cry or panic when I think someone feels negatively towards me. I don't know, I guess it's kind of pathetic.

Who is "someone"? Family, friends, strangers? Or everyone?

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Who is "someone"? Family, friends, strangers? Or everyone?

Anyone really...I just don't deal with with negativity, even if it perceived.

 

[Aurelia]

Anyone really...I just don't deal with with negativity, even if it perceived.

Honestly, if it's someone who matters to you, I could see how you would feel the need to react that way. But if it's a stranger, they don't mean shit, and definitely aren't worth your tears or worry. But even with those who care about you or vice versa, try to remember that we can't please everyone all the time. There will be times that someone, somewhere will think negatively of you, but if it's someone who cares about you, they'll get over it. I had my husband tell me, "I can't stand you," the one day, and yeah, it hurt like hell at the time, but we've moved past it. It's okay when people think badly about you on occasion, even those who love you, because if they truly do love you, those feelings will pass and they'll remember once again why they love you. But with strangers, like I said, they don't even really matter. I'm sure there are random people you think negatively about at times too and it means nothing in the end because you never see that person again anyway.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Honestly, if it's someone who matters to you, I could see how you would feel the need to react that way. But if it's a stranger, they don't mean shit, and definitely aren't worth your tears or worry. But even with those who care about you or vice versa, try to remember that we can't please everyone all the time. There will be times that someone, somewhere will think negatively of you, but if it's someone who cares about you, they'll get over it. I had my husband tell me, "I can't stand you," the one day, and yeah, it hurt like hell at the time, but we've moved past it. It's okay when people think badly about you on occasion, even those who love you, because if they truly do love you, those feelings will pass and they'll remember once again why they love you. But with strangers, like I said, they don't even really matter. I'm sure there are random people you think negatively about at times too and it means nothing in the end because you never see that person again anyway.

Thank you, I need to try and keep that in mind. I just need to keep working at not letting their opinions matter.

 

[Aurelia]

Thank you, I need to try and keep that in mind. I just need to keep working at not letting their opinions matter.

With strangers, yes. Their opinions don't matter because they're not a part of your life anyway. With friends and family, it's okay if their opinions matter to you. That's how it should be. And it's okay if it upsets you when they say something hurtful. But the main thing is not to let it affect you for long periods of time because, like I said, we can't please everyone all the time, and if they truly love and care about you, then those will always be their general feelings toward you, no matter what they may say, do, or think in the moment. With BPD, its hard for us to see the big picture, so when someone says something hurtful, we feel like they hate us and it's hard for us to remember that those are just their momentary feelings, and that big picture-wise they still love and care about us. That's what we need to work on with BPD, remembering that someone's feelings at any particular moment aren't necessarily their feelings toward you in general as a person.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

With strangers, yes. Their opinions don't matter because they're not a part of your life anyway. With friends and family, it's okay if their opinions matter to you. That's how it should be. And it's okay if it upsets you when they say something hurtful. But the main thing is not to let it affect you for long periods of time because, like I said, we can't please everyone all the time, and if they truly love and care about you, then those will always be their general feelings toward you, no matter what they may say, do, or think in the moment. With BPD, its hard for us to see the big picture, so when someone says something hurtful, we feel like they hate us and it's hard for us to remember that those are just their momentary feelings, and that big picture-wise they still love and care about us. That's what we need to work on with BPD, remembering that someone's feelings at any particular moment aren't necessarily their feelings toward you in general as a person.

I feel like people can't understand why I'm unable to do things I want or need to all the time. Sometimes I just can't, I feel like they think I'm lazy or irresponsible instead. Like I was sick and couldn't volunteer, suddenly I had two strikes against me when I didn't even realize they operated on a three strikes policy. At least they had never told me that until yesterday.

 

[Aurelia]

I feel like people can't understand why I'm unable to do things I want or need to all the time. Sometimes I just can't, I feel like they think I'm lazy or irresponsible instead. Like I was sick and couldn't volunteer, suddenly I had two strikes against me when I didn't even realize they operated on a three strikes policy. At least they had never told me that until yesterday.

What was the first strike for?

I get it, though. It's difficult to function normally and do what you're supposed to do when you feel emotionally unstable, and people tend to think it's because you're lazy.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

What was the first strike for?

I get it, though. It's difficult to function normally and do what you're supposed to do when you feel emotionally unstable, and people tend to think it's because you're lazy.

I don't even know what the first strike was for. All she said is that I had one more chance. It's like....I didn't think I did anything that bad. But apparently it was that bad to them.

 

[Aurelia]

I don't even know what the first strike was for. All she said is that I had one more chance. It's like....I didn't think I did anything that bad. But apparently it was that bad to them.

I know you have to do this to keep your housing, but damn, if that weren't the case, I'd really want to tell this bitch off. Like, "Bitch, you don't even fucking pay me. You get free labor out of me, and you're giving me strikes and chastising me for a bunch of stupid bullshit? Fuck you." That would really irritate the fuck out of me. I'd rather just look for a regular job at that point than deal with all that.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

I know you have to do this to keep your housing, but damn, if that weren't the case, I'd really want to tell this bitch off. Like, "Bitch, you don't even fucking pay me. You get free labor out of me, and you're giving me strikes and chastising me for a bunch of stupid bullshit? Fuck you." That would really irritate the fuck out of me. I'd rather just look for a regular job at that point than deal with all that.

Yeah, it's just a pain in the ass. Sometimes I feel like I lack the energy to hold down a job, and that's why I do the volunteer work. But I want to be somewhere that I can feel respected, at the very least.

 

[Aurelia]

Yeah, it's just a pain in the ass. Sometimes I feel like I lack the energy to hold down a job, and that's why I do the volunteer work. But I want to be somewhere that I can feel respected, at the very least.

How many days have you volunteered since you started would you say?

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

How many days have you volunteered since you started would you say?

Maybe around 10 or so. They are understaffed and really like having volunteers, but it seems like I'm the only one who volunteers there right now. So it would be strange if they want me to stop going there for some reason.

 

[Angie74]

Hugs, Witty.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Hugs, Witty.

Thank you, hugs back

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

I can't even find a job because they are either too far away or involve skills I don't have. Ugh, I hate this.