BPD Support Thread

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Lol you can see my pretzels and booze and shit...that's funny..

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Ok so the first card is the bottom one, eight of cups, indicates your present situation, which shows abandonment. We can see the moon, which symbolizes emotion, and he's standing in front of 8 cups, looking ahead. So apart from leaving something (meaning, the past, or some part of the past) behind, there's also a sense of a new beginning possibly coming.

The card right above that one is the seven if cups, which is the desires card. It indicates you feel overwhelmed with the many choices and options you have in front of you and feel a bit indecisive and perhaps don't want to take action.

The card to the right of the last one is the hermit, which is the positive energies card or in other words what will help you. The hermit mainly represents wisdom and soul searching, so that's what you have to do in irder to move forward..

And on the opposite side is the challenging energies card or what could make things feel more difficult. Ace of pentacle represents new beginnings regarding financial matters..so that would mean it's difficult for you to get some kind of job or career started where you feel stable and financially independent, and it's part of what's bringing and keeping you down and making it hard to take action.

And the outcome is the top card seven of pentacles. It represents hard work being rewarded with material gains and financial stability. But remember that you create your own destiny, so you have to take the necessary steps to get there. The outcome can always change because you're always making choices. But as it stands now, it's completely possible that you can do all that plus more. So believe in yourself, love.

Ok, send me some pretzels, maybe not the booze though.

And that sounds remarkably like how I am feeling right now. I have been thinking about what I want to do with my life and how I will move forward.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

I'm glad my reading doesn't say anything about me avoiding evil kids

 

[Aurelia]

Ok, send me some pretzels, maybe not the booze though.

And that sounds remarkably like how I am feeling right now. I have been thinking about what I want to do with my life and how I will move forward.

Yeah, I'm a bad fucking influence, I probably should have made sure to cut the booze out. I'm sorry hun, my head is just all sorts of fucked up today. I got a new job I think, as long as the background check goes through okay...which I think it should as long as they don't check for summary offenses. Not sure how that shit works in this state, though. And I still got schoolwork to do and then that fucking reading...I'm just in my head and overwhelmed at this point.

 

[Aurelia]

I'm glad my reading doesn't say anything about me avoiding evil kids

Lol well I got a professional more detailed reading online. So thats why it was so fucking detailed. Yours, I did myself. Just asked the cards your question and thought of you in my mind, spoke your name out loud and in my head to make sure to was known that it was for you.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Lol that's ok, I don't need another reading in case Damien comes into my life And you don't need to apologize, it didn't trigger me or anything because I know I need to quit anyway.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

I hope it works out and you'll get the job.

 

[Aurelia]

Lol that's ok, I don't need another reading in case Damien comes into my life And you don't need to apologize, it didn't trigger me or anything because I know I need to quit anyway.

Yeah but still, I should have been more thoughtful and aware on that one. And yeah, believe me, you don't want one like I got LOL...I'm wishing I never fucking did that at this point. Fucked my head all up.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Yeah but still, I should have been more thoughtful and aware on that one. And yeah, believe me, you don't want one like I got LOL...I'm wishing I never fucking did that at this point. Fucked my head all up.

I'll look up tips on how to ward off evil children so we'll be prepared

 

[Aurelia]

Ok that kind of makes me a bit uneasy...his dog got into a fight with our roommates dog and he freaks out, kicks her, and then a minute later it's like "I'm sorry, I don't want to donthat to you, please don't make me do that". And I'm just thinking like, "MAKE you do that? Is that what you honestly think?" Do you like have no control over yourself whatsoever? Christ...the fuck. Am I going to be next if I piss you off badly enough?

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

That's fucked...he shouldn't ever kick the dog. It's just cruel and won't teach it anything, except to be afraid of him.

 

[Aurelia]

That's fucked...he shouldn't ever kick the dog. It's just cruel and won't teach it anything, except to be afraid of him.

Yeah, he's definitely got anger issues. I know he knows this, but he doesn't believe he can control it. Blames his actions on whatever sets him off. I tried explaining to him that these are still his choices but goes in one ear and out the other.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Yeah, he's definitely got anger issues. I know he knows this, but he doesn't believe he can control it. Blames his actions on whatever sets him off. I tried explaining to him that these are still his choices but goes in one ear and out the other.

Of course he can, maybe he needs anger management counseling or something. My anger was a lot worse when I was younger, but then I realized how destructive that was.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

I got a spam message about CBD gummies. Reminds me of my sister because she keeps asking me to try them. lol

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Wow, my nephew knows my sister was in the hospital because she overdosed. I don't know if she told him directly or he figured it out himself. Seems like a lot for a kid to deal with.

 

[Aurelia]

I got a spam message about CBD gummies. Reminds me of my sister because she keeps asking me to try them. lol

I tried THC gummy worms the one time. Definitely liked them better than smoking the shit. Not a huge fan in general but the body high is better than the other high.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

I tried THC gummy worms the one time. Definitely liked them better than smoking the shit. Not a huge fan in general but the body high is better than the other high.

I could probably try that then. Not that I do pot very often at all...although I don't need to get addicted to that either.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

A friend from high school was saying I should move to Arizona so we could hang out and stuff. Sounds tempting, but I'm a little scared of the high temps and scorpions and stuff. lol

 

[Aurelia]

A friend from high school was saying I should move to Arizona so we could hang out and stuff. Sounds tempting, but I'm a little scared of the high temps and scorpions and stuff. lol

I told him about this forum and all you guys, and he was like cool, let's go see them. I'm like okay, shit...I've been wanting to for years. So looks like he's all about it. Just gotta get back on my feet financially I guess. Which by the way, seems like I got a job again starting tomorrow. But after not working for like 2 weeks, not sure how that's going to go, and at a new place with new people, for that matter. Kind of scared I'm going to hate it and/or suck at it. And this is mainly like a furniture sales lead position so actual sales are involved, which is a bit different from dollar tree. Never really had to persuade anyone to buy anything there, and I'm not that good at persuasion in general...but I guess I don't really have a choice. Have to try.

And then there's my course that I need to hand in 2 more papers for by the fucking 8th, which is ridiculously fucking weighing on my mind right now. Every time I try to write the fucking thing, my brain just shuts the fuck down and I've got absutely nothing...even though I know the fucking material. Managed to write like 2 paragraphs today by literally forcing myself...but that still isn't shit compared to how much I still need to write.

Like...I just wan to run the fuck away right now. Maybe go do some drugs. I don't fucking know. I'm just so mentally exhausted and overwhelmed and I can't deal with it. And aside from all that, we have to get out of here and get our own place, sooner rather than later. So then there's the stress of all that added on to everything else too. Only reason I'm not doing something stupid right now is because I know I'm going to regret it the second I do. But it's too fucking much. Like, I can't do this shit. I want to be with him, I want to graduate, I want to work again, I want to move and have our own place, but I also want to just run far the fuck away, lay in the fetal position, and not do shit. And ideally, fucking disappear.

 

[Aurelia]

Wow. He's selfish as fuck at times and doesn't fucking realize it one bit. Not in a narcissistic way, but just in a dumbass kind of way. I don't even fucking know at this point. I don't want to act impulsively and regret it, so trying to wait for my head to settle the fuck down, but jesusfuck...like...ugh. How do you even do that and be totally oblivious? I don't fucking get it.

There's also another fucking person moving into this house soon. So that'll be 5 people, 3 dogs, 2 cats, a guinea pig, fish, and a lizard...all in one living space. Just fucking kill me now.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

That's awesome and of course he is welcome here too. Like my friend from Norway wanted to come and see me, but he's not sure if he should bring his husband along or not because I don't know him. I was like whatever, just bring him if you want. The more the merrier I guess, lol.

I get it hun, and I wish things were easier for you. I hope that it will get better at some point. I know you can do whatever you set your mind to. I've always thought that you are an incredibly strong person and I look up to you. Sorry I wasn't on earlier, the internet has been out all day and I'm actually just on whatever network the phone has.