Does anyone know how to deal with death

[MosesY]

It was very hard on me when my mother passed away. I would say religion helped me, my belief in the afterlife where I believe my mother is now. She was the rock of love in a world gone mad. I was the one who was elected to tell her when the doctors said there was nothing more they could do and she had weeks or months to live. I will never forget the smile on her face, the joyful acceptance of the news. She believed she was going to heaven. I have been suicidal off and on most of my life and still am today. I miss my mother a lot. If I ended my life now there would be a lot of sad people at my funeral. My friend that I chat with every day, my 7 siblings, the people I work with, none of them would understand it and it would cause them some trauma whether it is little or big. I enjoy life more now than I have in some time, especially the six months or so after my mother passed were hard on me. I have a hobby that I participate in, I drink good whiskey every day (but not so much that I get drunk) I have this forum I particpate in. I'm sorry you are losing your grandmother and hope that you find a way to go on living. Hugs to you.

 

[18breanna]

Thank you very very much.

 

[18breanna]

It was very hard on me when my mother passed away. I would say religion helped me, my belief in the afterlife where I believe my mother is now. She was the rock of love in a world gone mad. I was the one who was elected to tell her when the doctors said there was nothing more they could do and she had weeks or months to live. I will never forget the smile on her face, the joyful acceptance of the news. She believed she was going to heaven. I have been suicidal off and on most of my life and still am today. I miss my mother a lot. If I ended my life now there would be a lot of sad people at my funeral. My friend that I chat with every day, my 7 siblings, the people I work with, none of them would understand it and it would cause them some trauma whether it is little or big. I enjoy life more now than I have in some time, especially the six months or so after my mother passed were hard on me. I have a hobby that I participate in, I drink good whiskey every day (but not so much that I get drunk) I have this forum I particpate in. I'm sorry you are losing your grandmother and hope that you find a way to go on living. Hugs to you.

Thank you and I am sorry to hear about your mother passing. It's always hard when the person who passes is a rock in your life. Thankfully I don't have to make medical decisions about her care, but that sounds very difficult as well. I am looking for a way to go on living, even if it seems hopeless. Hugs to you as well.

 

[Daphna]

My grandma is getting heart surgery, and her health is just getting worse, and I know she won't live forever but whenever I think about her passing, all I can think about is how much happier I'll be if I just kill myself and follow her. I didn't have a dad, so she is basically my second parent, and she's the person I'm closest to in the world. I don't think I love anyone as much as her. I just don't know how I can deal with it if she leaves. I know my mom would never kill herself, but I don't know how she deals with things like this (she explained how she felt, but I still just don't understand how she can deal with this. She is much better at dealing with things and I know I'm not a very strong person, so that is probably the reason). All I can think about is how much I want to kill myself, even though I know I shouldn't, I don't know what else I can do. She was the only person I would talk to some days, and I don't know what I will do, I don't want to live if she's not here

Praying for you. It’s hard to watch someone suffer. Especially when you care so much for them.

 

[18breanna]

Praying for you. It’s hard to watch someone suffer. Especially when you care so much for them.

Thank you for your response and yes, definitely. She really doesn't like being in the hospital and is having a hard time, psychologically, being in a strange place. She hasn't woken up since the surgery, and I am hoping that she can wake up from the anesthesia and regain consciousness. It's hard because I just want her to be back home where she is comfortable and in a familiar loving place, but it's so uncertain, and the thought that she might not come back makes me so depressed

 

[Daphna]

Thank you for your response and yes, definitely. She really doesn't like being in the hospital and is having a hard time, psychologically, being in a strange place. She hasn't woken up since the surgery, and I am hoping that she can wake up from the anesthesia and regain consciousness. It's hard because I just want her to be back home where she is comfortable and in a familiar loving place, but it's so uncertain, and the thought that she might not come back makes me so depressed

What you are feeling is normal. Both of you are in my prayers.

 

[18breanna]

What you are feeling is normal. Both of you are in my prayers.

Thank you

 

[Walker]

Hi Breanna, I've sent you a message privately regarding your thread here but wanted to say hello here also. I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother and am sending you good thoughts.

Wish you well
Matt

 

[Daphna]

Thank you

You’re welcome

 

[18breanna]

Sorry that your grandma is sick and that you're feeling suicidal.

This is certainly not what your grandma would want for you. If your mom loves you even a little bit, this would have a terrible impact on her, as it would on anyone that cares about you.

Getting some emotional support and treatment might help a lot. You may want to start seeing a grief counselor now in order to prepare for your grandmother's eventual death.

Suicide would not only deprive you finding something worthwhile about living for yourself, but also prevent you from reaching your potential to help others. There are many other people in the world who are just like your grandma, and you won't get to know them, or do anything to help them if you are dead.

If you are in the US call and talk to the chaplain at your local police department
They know grief councilors in the area

It’s there job to know these people
I feel your pain about your grandmother. Mine was more of a mother to me than my biological mother.
I didn’t speak to her about ten years (long story), when I finally called her and talked to her I could hear in her voice her finally letting go. She passed away 3 months later.
Talking here and to a counselor is the best advice.
s and well wishes

Hey @18breanna Sorry you are feeling low and that your grandma is ill but i'm glad you are talking about these issues and I hope some of the info in the above posts will help you, keep talking to us

I'm so sorry to hear about that ❤ I understand, I lost my grandmother a couple years ago and nobody cared about me in the family as much as her. She was very special. We knew it was coming as the drs warned us they thought she only had a few months left but you're never really prepared. I found it very hard, I was depressed for ages. Everyone will be different but some things that helped me were honouring her memory by making collages and video montages of her and writing down my favourite memories with her. I also found it helpful to be involved in the process afterwards- helping to plan the funeral, I designed the funeral leaflet, I picked up the flowers days after the funeral and took them home and took care of them then when they died I pressed them and made them into photo frame displays for me and the family and kept the other dried flowers in a box.

My thoughts are with you ❤

Very sad to hear about your grandmother, sounds like she is so important to you in your life...wishing all the best for her and you.

It was very hard on me when my mother passed away. I would say religion helped me, my belief in the afterlife where I believe my mother is now. She was the rock of love in a world gone mad. I was the one who was elected to tell her when the doctors said there was nothing more they could do and she had weeks or months to live. I will never forget the smile on her face, the joyful acceptance of the news. She believed she was going to heaven. I have been suicidal off and on most of my life and still am today. I miss my mother a lot. If I ended my life now there would be a lot of sad people at my funeral. My friend that I chat with every day, my 7 siblings, the people I work with, none of them would understand it and it would cause them some trauma whether it is little or big. I enjoy life more now than I have in some time, especially the six months or so after my mother passed were hard on me. I have a hobby that I participate in, I drink good whiskey every day (but not so much that I get drunk) I have this forum I particpate in. I'm sorry you are losing your grandmother and hope that you find a way to go on living. Hugs to you.

You’re welcome

Thank you all for your kindness and for reaching out to me. My grandma, one of the most beautiful people I've ever known, left this Earth today. I am keeping her photo on the pillow next to me so I know she is always with me. I've never felt so empty.

 

[may71]

Thank you

You're welcome!

My grandma, one of the most beautiful people I've ever known, left this Earth today

Sorry that this happened. I know it's got to hurt a lot

Sending hugs

 

[18breanna]

Sorry that this happened. I know it's got to hurt a lot

Sending hugs

Thank you so much

 

[toyomark]

If you read Erich Fromm's book The Art of Loving, you'll learn a little more about what your granny did for you. Parental love should be the strongest feeling because it's gratuitous. After upbringing, the most important thing your granny had to do for you was to let go. She won't live forever, but she wouldn't want you to stop existing. She didn't live and raise you for that. When my granny was 60 years old, my parents and I prepared for her to move to assisted living l. We wanted her to experience the best feelings in FL and have friends. And she was really happy for the last 10 years before her death. We are grateful to her for her life.