Friend Died Last Week

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by DiracTuring, Feb 12, 2016.

  1. DiracTuring

    DiracTuring New Member

    Almost exactly a week ago (minus about 30 minutes), a close friend of mine was found dead. The police say it was a suicide <mod edit- methods>. He was about to graduate, and recently got accepted to Graduate School. He was one of the happiest people I've ever known, and when we heard the news, no one even considered suicide a possibility. He was brilliant and never had significant trouble with his school work, so I'm sure it wasn't the stress, although he hadn't been sleeping much at all leading up to last week. He mentioned to me before that he was worried about not having ever had a relationship, and felt lonely, and gave the impression he was doubtful that he could ever find someone. The only way I can make sense of his suicide is if that's what led him to it.

    The university has given ample support for my friends and I, I've coped with and accepted what happened, and although I'm still grieving his loss, I'm doing much better now than I was a week ago. The problem I have now, and the problem I've been having for years, is that I've been having the same trouble as him. I've always wondered how much I could stand being alone and how long I could really last before ending it, and now my friend has done exactly what I've expected myself to do. I feel like I just got to the point where I could live with being alone for another few years, and now I don't. On top of that another close friend of mine told me he was starting to date a girl whom he had sex with which was his first time, and rather than being happy for him, all I can think is what's wrong with me that I can't have the same? I hate life, it sucks.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 12, 2016
  2. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    I am so, so sorry for your loss.

    We can never truly know what drives a person to do something like that, sometimes sadly it doesn't make any sense to the people around them.
    I hope you can find some support though, you do certainly not have to follow your friend.
    Are you getting any grief counselling outside of your school? It might do you good to get some professional help to handle your loss.

    You're always welcome to reach out here, and to me if you need it. *hugs*
     
    CandleLight likes this.
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I am so very sorry for your major loss. None of us are perfect so we don't expect you to be either. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin, in my eyes it's the opposite that I'd be more worried about. It is not shameful. No one can say a bad word about you, they do not know you as they say..they're going to talk whether you do bad or good. Just know we are here and we care a lot. Hugs. Just open up and be yourself. In light of your friends recent suicide, I think you should get counselling, maybe a grief therapist will be able to help you a lot.
     
  4. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    I'm sorry for your loss. I'm glad that you've accepted what has happened. You may never know why, but remember you're not responsible in any way. Please reach out to someone.
     
  5. Fluffypingu

    Fluffypingu Safety and Support Chat Pro SF Supporter

    I'm so sorry for your loss hun