Got sent home from work yesterday

[CBunny9]

My boss noticed I wasn’t quite myself and brought me into her office. She’s super sweet and kind and lovely and she made sure I understood this was not boss-to-employee, but rather human-to-human, and asked if I was okay. I basically had a total breakdown in her office and told her how I’ve been feeling, which is really low and dissociated and suicidal, and she sent me home early after a little chat, but she told me she’s going to try and find some help for me in the city that’s affordable because things can be very expensive here.

I’ve never had a boss care at all. Was actually threatened to be fired a few years ago if I talked about my mental illness at work (this was a different job). But my boss now asked me to take Monday and Tuesday off next week while she researches therapists and psychiatrists for me, since right now my therapist is a two hour commute away and I’m only seeing her once a month. I need more help than that.

I’m hesitant to get a new therapist just cause I’ve been seeing mine for ten years and it’s daunting to start all over. But I need more help and I need it fast.

I’m really grateful for my boss for helping me out. But I feel so embarrassed and ashamed and guilty because I feel like I’m failing her and my coworkers by being like this. I never wanted my mental health to interfere with my work and now it is. I just feel so ashamed and weak and stupid.

 

[Sunspots]

I think it's great that your boss is being so supportive.

You know in your heart that you've nothing to be embarrassed about right? You didn't ask for this. It's not your fault. Accepting help when you need it isn't letting anyone down, quite the opposite. Hopefully with the right support you'll be on top form again quicker than without it yes?

I'm sure she'll be very discreet when it comes to your coworkers. But having your boss on your side is going to be so helpful, believe me. She sounds wonderful and it sounds like she really values you as a member of her team.

 

[Auri]

You have an amazing boss, it's very valuable Don't feel bad about it if she wants to help you. She obviously wants what's best for you, not to make your life more miserable by stressing you out about work. I understand how you don't want it to interfere with work, I really do. But sometimes honesty is better for everyone, even at work, and you need to take some time to heal. Stopping work is not often a good solution, especially because of this commitment we have to work, as well as for financial reasons. But don't feel worse because she sent you home once. She could easily have done the same thing if someone had migraine, or the flu. It's nothing to be guilty or ashamed about. Having the support of your boss is the best thing you could have right now. Plus if you felt the need to talk to her, it's totally good that you did. It will get better, don't worry about it.

It's not your fault, and you have nothing to worry about at work. I'm sure your boss knows what she's doing.
Take care of yourself, sweetie.

 

[Were all together]

Your boss is a wonderful person. Dont feel ashame or guilty. In fact, she may have been in your shoes sometime. Not too many people, including supervisors do what she's doing for you. You're a lucky person.

 

[Kiwi2016]

As others have said, don't be at all ashamed as she sounds like a very caring and wonderful person....who truly wants to help you...sending you peaceful thoughts and though scary to potentially see a new therapist having one closer by that you could maybe see more often could be so helpful...just remember to be gentle on yourself....

 

[Walker]

I'm glad your boss is helping you out and you've had some days off to get yourself sorted out a bit. I hope that you're feeling a little better now. Let us know how things go, okay?

 

[Ash600]

I can just echo what's been said here already, @CBunny9 in that your boss is amazingly understanding and supportive. It certainly is nothing to be ashamed off or to feel guilty about. If anything, you are doing yourself and them a favour by recognising how you've been feeling and wanting to do something positive about it.

Studies have been carried out, I actually noticed a report in the newspaper the other day. Those with mental health issues tend to be more productive if they could talk with their managers at work. So getting the support from your boss can only be good all round for all concerned.

Hope things have eased up at least a little bit for you now.

 

[Kiwi2016]

Just thought would check to see how you were doing?