Discussion in 'Welcome' started by UNREGISTERED0000, May 6, 2006.
Tired. Exhausted. Wiped. Feel guilty for relaxing. For that matter, feel guilty for even existing.
I use to loose my apetite, I lost 24 kilos in 8 months. I have nausea and I can't eat so, whenever I feel like eating, I eat, binge-eat, in order to "compensate", since I never know when the nausea and the impossibility to eat will come and how much will it last.
My hope is lost because the thing I want more in the world is lost. I can't get it back but all I want is that, so I am desperatedly asking for a miracle (which doesn't happen) becase anything else can content me.
Anxious and clueless
like i'm not good enough to deserve to be alive
Anxious. I'm seeing the panic attack coming. And I have to take a train in one hour and I can't cry there. I must vent everything before but taking that train is one of the motives of my anxiety, I don't want to left the city where I spent the last few days, even if being here is equally painful because... So near and so far
I'm a pointless atm machine.
Proud of myself.
You're as far from pointless as it's possible to be.
Proud of you too x
Thank you =)
You are anything but pointless. Your input and presence is valued and appreciated by so many.
You have teenage children?
Lonely. Sometimes it feels as if I could burst from the anguish of loneliness. At others times I'm just numb. And sometimes, when I'm unable to sleep, it feels as if I succumbed to loneliness years ago and I'm just dragging my corpse around. Will there ever be a reprieve? Or will the remainder of my life be infinite, crushing loneliness? I'm fairly certain it's the latter.
Wishing I could back in time... Summer of 2016. Or spring and telling the past Jolene "something amazing is coming for you, don't commit this mistakes and enjoy it, it's the best thing you have ever had...and if ou loose it...everything is lost forever".
Funny thing: right now I can afford a trip anywhere but the only place I want to be: the past.
I understand your point about the compensatory part. But what exactly did you lose that you cannot get back, if you don't mind me asking?
Having a bad day and it's only 10.30am here. Pulled my shoulder so might have to pull out of a competition. And just generally feeling down and cry-ey... I hate this...