How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[puffymilk]

I hope not! Maybe you're being a bit hard on yourself? Remember it's a new job, everybody learns at a different pace! I hope your confidence can increase!

Thank you... Maybe you're right about me being a bit hard on myself. I don't even know what my problem is. I'm having a hard time putting my thoughts together, so when someone asks me if I have any questions, I wouldn't know what to ask because the whole explanation confuses me.

I'm handling this quite complicated client, and I've been re-reading the emails I've sent him and I do think I've made a few mistakes. I think my colleague who is supposed to be my sort of supervisor did misguide a little bit, but I don't want to blame her. But it makes everyone confused.

There will be a meeting tomorrow and I think people are going to mention my problem. Then I will have to leave in the middle of the meeting to do a call with the client. And I saw a message that was sent after 5 pm by my manager asking if I have any idea what the call would be about. I just wish I could < mod edit - method > or something, or simply not wake up tomorrow.

 

[Somebody Else]

Worried about school. I think I will have really low grades. I can't perform activities very well. I get nervous when asked. I panic and forget the steps. I can't gather my thoughts and do a simple task according to the standards. I might fail, I am scared but I'm trying.

 

[full]

Keep on keeping on 💪

 

[AvidFan]

Totally fucking drained. Just had my first 1.5 hour 1-2-1 with my new manager. Nothing at all like the old manager, I don't think I'll ever feel as comfortable with anyone, probably made a lousy first impression. Hey ho. Only happens once a month.

 

[AvidFan]

Exasperated. Would be almost cheaper to have new windows put in, and I wasn't convinced by this guys spiel about the bricks. You don't put cement mortar on victorian bricks. I feel the same if someone had come and told me they were going to coat my windows in sugar to waterproof them. How the fuck do these people operate? Looks like I'm back to the drawing board.

 

[snails]

Not very well. Mentally, physically, cold and sick and can't see any light. Worried I can't do my job and can't seem to find a way out.
In need of someone to speak to.

 

[Bergerac]

I hope my friend is out of hospital soon. I’m worried about him, even though we don’t always see eye-to-eye. X

 

[Windhover]

Exasperated. Would be almost cheaper to have new windows put in, and I wasn't convinced by this guys spiel about the bricks. You don't put cement mortar on victorian bricks. I feel the same if someone had come and told me they were going to coat my windows in sugar to waterproof them. How the fuck do these people operate? Looks like I'm back to the drawing board.

That is why I decided to have a window company remove all the old sash windows from my old place, and put in double pane modern windows. It was sad to see the 120 year old windows go, but the place was a lot more livable after the new ones were installed. Especially when it got to -20ºF with wind, I was glad I spent the $.
I don't know if that ^ helps.

Maintenance and remodeling takes so much patience, and basically you have to be your own general contractor.

 

[Windhover]

I'm feeling a bit worried, but trying to stay steadily breathing. lol

 

[AvidFan]

That is why I decided to have a window company remove all the old sash windows from my old place, and put in double pane modern windows. It was sad to see the 120 year old windows go, but the place was a lot more livable after the new ones were installed. Especially when it got to -20ºF with wind, I was glad I spent the $.
I don't know if that ^ helps.

Maintenance and remodeling takes so much patience, and basically you have to be your own general contractor.

They're already modern double glazing, but some idiot before I had the house sealed them up with mastic instead of silicone which has now all cracked as they expand and contract.... As it's let in rain a couple of times I might just have to bite the bullet and get that done first. Just paid my taxes today which was a hefty chunk of cash, I think I'll sit for a while longer rather than suffer buyer's remorse!

 

[AvidFan]

Not my day today. Up at 8am thinking I'd get somewhere. Was really happy for a few hours thinking I'd got somewhere and got someone decent to solve both of my big jobs, but turns out it was too good to be true so am back to square one. Had the 1-2-1 from hell with my new manager and still going over it in my head, I took something completely the wrong way and said so, I don't know what she must have thought. To top it all I finished a late call and was starving so I went to order-a-pizza and they said order tomorrow when the restaurant is open. It's 9pm, they're not open?! I couldn't be bothered trying to take a risk on a new joint so have banged some veggie burgers and chips in the oven.

I did manage to email one more wall person and have got the number of another window/handy person. I have no idea how much these things should cost. The window seemed expensive to me. The brick repair and pointing seemed incredibly cheap in comparison but at the same time could have possibly made things worse. But I've only got one quote to go off so it might be wise to continue my information gathering while trying to survive, get some more quotes or at least advice. Once upon a time I'd have posted pics on reddit but you end up getting every armchair builder/handyperson who are also keyboard warriors and I just don't have the energy to wade through all that.

On the plus side, I am more tired and fried from the long day and stress, than anxious and panicky and full of doom for no reason at all and the stomach churning is not as bad as it can get. I at least feel confident the house is not going to fall down immediately, I might even get away with waiting until spring. At least I'm trying. I've got Friday off which means I only have to work through tomorrow.

I'm trying my best, all I can really do 😐

 

[Astrid78]

Amused

 

[Astrid78]

I wish you some peace Astrid.

Thanks you. Feel better today.
Hugs back @Lane

 

[AvidFan]

I am weary, am going to bed. It's been a long day and I hope sleep will come easily tonight. Goodnight dear SF people.

 

[AmberMarie]

Feeling very alone! Yet i am not alone in the house... i am annoyed i can not get to anything without waking people up. i have to remedy this when i have a chance.

 

[AmberMarie]

You help me.

Thank you! that means more than you could ever know!

 

[AvidFan]

Weary and awake. Had an utterly awful night of insomnia, having been up early yesterday I thought I would easily nod off but was just awake most of the night. A few fleeting moments with odd dreams so must have got bits here and there but nothing deep or refreshing. Not sure if biochemical or just stress, my problems refuse to exit my consciousness to give me some respite, they are just ever present and am cycling through severe anxiety and trying to solve the issues, relief through taking action, to disappointment the action failed, to anxiety and back through the cycle again. The shit storm in my nervous system isn't helping. At least I have a long weekend coming up but first I have to get through today.

 

[AvidFan]

Ok, after a rocky start to the day. Had churning stomach and some anxiety to start with, also elevated blood pressure but nervous system has started to settle by the looks of it. Holding on to the fact I finish tonight so I might treat myself to a takeaway and then rest and watch the Olympic Games for 3 days or something.

 

[Lane]

Don’t give up. I get it. It’s like I have no purpose. I still don’t. What you need to do is find that purpose in life. Yeah I have a grandchild who I see but I feel that I am just existing. I usually combat the feeling by volunteering but that doesn’t make a difference. You contribute a lot on this forum and you are very helpful. Join meetup and do some activities that get you with people who share the same interests. That’s what saved me after the divorce. I understand you.

Thank you for replying S.

 

[Lane]

Worried about school. I think I will have really low grades. I can't perform activities very well. I get nervous when asked. I panic and forget the steps. I can't gather my thoughts and do a simple task according to the standards. I might fail, I am scared but I'm trying.

We are proud of you here at SF. It's hard to be out on the spot, no wonder you get nervous. No matter what your grades are, you are still a very important person.