I'm sorry you're feeling so bad Lostman.
I don't think you've hurt me or anyone else here by talking to us. I also think you haven't ruined other people's lives.
You're not useless. You have inherent worth as a human being, and you're also a better person than you give yourself credit for being.
I think if I got to know you better, I'd like you even more than I do now
Sending hugs if you would like hugs