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How Are You Feeling Right Now?

LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻
SF Supporter
This morning I woke up with an image of myself bleeding out from an injury. The amount of relief I felt from looking forward to losing consciousness as my blood inevitably drained out was like water to a traveler in distress. Looking forward to escaping the struggles of competing with others for the ability to simply exist.

This dream, however enticing, is impractical. So I must keep trying to survive, trying to avoid elimination from a competition I never should have entered.
 

LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻
SF Supporter
I do not know what is wrong with me. I feel surrounded by a cloud of pain both inside and outside. I've been exhausted since Monday despite catching up on sleep. Now, it seems to be not just fatigue, but hurt and self-criticism, too.

Right now, I don't feel guilty. It's more like I am intrinsically not enough. I even know this to be a cognitive distortion, but I still feel like I can barely hold my head above my shoulders.
 

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