How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[puffymilk]

doing pretty good, well that isn't true. i am actually doing great

mike....

I'm glad to hear this

 

[maybeicanheal]

doing pretty good, well that isn't true. i am actually doing great

mike....

Your feeling great is very inspiring to me and gives me hope someday I can feel great too. I haven’t in so long I forget what it’s like.

 

[maybeicanheal]

Is anyone else blown away sometimes by the fact other people apparently do not want to die all the time? I was talking to my dad, who has gone through so much in his own life and I just assumed everyone battled suicidal ideation and I wasn’t fighting hard enough. I’ve been blaming myself for years thinking I just wasn’t strong enough or capable enough, and everyone else was managing their ideation and thoughts just fine.

oof.

 

[1964dodge]

I felt like the universe doesn't want me to have good things, but I'm feeling a bit better about it now. Thank you Mike

you're welcome

mike....

 

[1964dodge]

Is anyone else blown away sometimes by the fact other people apparently do not want to die all the time? I was talking to my dad, who has gone through so much in his own life and I just assumed everyone battled suicidal ideation and I wasn’t fighting hard enough. I’ve been blaming myself for years thinking I just wasn’t strong enough or capable enough, and everyone else was managing their ideation and thoughts just fine.

oof.

battling suicidal ideation is different for everyone. courage is only the ability to want to fight. i still have those thoughts and always will. when pain/illnesses get bad so do my thoughts. for now when things get bad it's usually minor thoughts i can dismiss easily. the thing that keeps me alive is i know things will eventually get better even if not for long and i will still have more joy in my world.

mike....

 

[Inastorm]

Little bastard biting insects, I feel like fast food outlet. Very sore and painful. I'm glad it's raining at the weekend.

 

[AvidFan]

Little bastard biting insects, I feel like fast food outlet. Very sore and painful. I'm glad it's raining at the weekend.

Bastards!

 

[AvidFan]

I'm not well. Really don't feel myself. If my leg stops playing up something else starts up, when the ribs settle down I reinjure myself in my sleep, I've lost my appetite and just feel down generally. Usual energy is not there and just feel out of it. Had a wave of nausea earlier in the day and had a massive anxiety spike that my body was shutting down (I don't think it is, I managed to put the bins out lol). Going to go to bed.

 

[Windhover]

Little bastard biting insects, I feel like fast food outlet. Very sore and painful. I'm glad it's raining at the weekend.

Oh yuck. I detest getting bit. Sorry that they've hatched where you are.

 

[Windhover]

More than a bit messed up, scattered thoughts all over the place, needy, sad.

 

[Inanimate]

On the brink of tears and losing my shit, but what’s the use? No matter how bad my depression gets, I’m never willing to get serious about killing myself. I’d like to consider that a virtue, but I just see it as another reason to despair.

 

[LumberJack]

I just noticed that I am irritable to the max. I have been in a bad mood all day, but I just noticed at 4:00 in the afternoon. The recurring theme is companies failing to provide what I paid for, and making it my job to then navigate their system to recover my funds.

Each time, I am asking myself whether the nonsense is being done on purpose, or is the corp not able to manage a basic business process? Either way, I am upset. If it’s on purpose, then they are not being honest with their customers and that’s unethical. If it’s incompetence, then I am still angry about them not caring enough to test and refine their delivery process.

In fairness, business process improvement has been my job (well not entirely, but there wasn’t anyone else addressing gaps) previously, so I know what it should look like, and what’s easier vs difficult. So maybe my bar is too high. I’m just wondering why I have to lower my expectations instead of them at least being able to deliver effectively. Yeah first world problems for sure, but I am paying first world prices, and if they can’t meet expectations then they need to charge less.

 

[maybeicanheal]

More than a bit messed up, scattered thoughts all over the place, needy, sad.

Hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

 

[Angie]

I feel sad. I know its because I had such a great time during my graduation weekend, and now its back to the mundane, but it still is bad.

 

[maybeicanheal]

I feel sad. I know its because I had such a great time during my graduation weekend, and now its back to the mundane, but it still is bad.

I feel similarly today. I talked to a friend about this feeling today and she said "one thing you can always count on is there will be something exciting and fun again." Helped me a little bit.

 

[Shinzon1]

Drained.

I don't really know exactly what's going as from a causal sense but it feels like sensory overload.

Everything is loud, body hurts, emotions all over the map

 

[1964dodge]

I'm not well. Really don't feel myself. If my leg stops playing up something else starts up, when the ribs settle down I reinjure myself in my sleep, I've lost my appetite and just feel down generally. Usual energy is not there and just feel out of it. Had a wave of nausea earlier in the day and had a massive anxiety spike that my body was shutting down (I don't think it is, I managed to put the bins out lol). Going to go to bed.

 

[1964dodge]

On the brink of tears and losing my shit, but what’s the use? No matter how bad my depression gets, I’m never willing to get serious about killing myself. I’d like to consider that a virtue, but I just see it as another reason to despair.

 

[Windhover]

: ) Thank you @maybeicanheal. hugs back, if you like hugs I mean.

 

[Bergerac]

this spiritual journey, is really exciting, now.