I know my last post was literally saying I feel better

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CBunny9

Well-Known Member
#1
And I really do feel better.

But today I found out an old friend’s sister committed suicide and all I feel is envy. I’m sad for my friend.

But I also now can’t stop thinking about suicide and how I want to be done with this world too.

I know this is so fucked up and I feel terrible that this is how I’ve reacted.

But goddamn leaving right now sounds great.
 
#2
I am glad to hear that you have been feeling better. I am sorry to hear this news has triggered some suicidal feelings, but I think it is healthy to honestly engage with the mixed feelings rather than supress them. It sounds like you are feeling empathy, envy, guilt, and ideation all at once. But do not forget how you were feeling before you got this news. Optimistic.
 

Petal

~*Mod Extraordinaire*~
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#3
I am so sorry to hear your unfortunate news of a friend passing, could you call the samaritans and see if talking out loud could help you feel better?

Please do not think suicide is the solution, it might seem like it sometimes but at the end of the day you have gotten better recently and I believe time might heal these fresh wounds.

Keep talking to us. Do you have any family or friends around you? Are you safe?

*grouphug2
 

sinking_ship

Awesome SFer
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#7
I get it CBunny. Even if I’m not actively suicidal sometimes a simple mention of it is enough to get me more preoccupied about it. Just try to remember the good things keeping you here, this will pass.
 

CBunny9

Well-Known Member
#10
I am glad to hear that you have been feeling better. I am sorry to hear this news has triggered some suicidal feelings, but I think it is healthy to honestly engage with the mixed feelings rather than supress them. It sounds like you are feeling empathy, envy, guilt, and ideation all at once. But do not forget how you were feeling before you got this news. Optimistic.
💕
 
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