I was a very smart kid, I got good grades without studying, without trying, I picked up skills easily enough, at 17 I opened my text book for the first time the night before the exam, and I passed that exam easily enough, then I got to university, I studied Maths and Programming, and in my first year I did study, but not much, and I sailed past with a 1st in my first year, but then depression hit, and I could barely pass no matter how hard I studied, and I thought I "beat" depression, and though I was wrong and it has repeatedly come back to haunt me, even when I am doing well, aside from a few rare moments I have never felt that intelligence I once had ever again, that ease of understanding, being able to hold enormous ideas in my head, now my head is just kind of numb and trying to think is tiring.
I really do think I'm supposed to be smarter than I am now, I used to get so bored if I didn't think about something complicated all the time, now, I get tired if I do. I haven't felt like myself since I lost that, I keep hoping it will come back, but its been 11 years and it never has. Does anyone have any ideas why I am still so dulled? or how to fix me?
I really do think I'm supposed to be smarter than I am now, I used to get so bored if I didn't think about something complicated all the time, now, I get tired if I do. I haven't felt like myself since I lost that, I keep hoping it will come back, but its been 11 years and it never has. Does anyone have any ideas why I am still so dulled? or how to fix me?