It's the magical date, October 26th. I dreaded that day, because of how etched it was in my mind. The end of October kicked off a major depressive episode, and I experienced the following:
1. Loss of pleasure. I couldn't even distract myself from what was going on.
2. Loss of appetite, I didn't even feel the need to drink water! That water thing still baffles me to this day.
3. Psycho motor retardation. What it means that every action feels as if it would requires tremendous amounts of energy.
4. Suicidal Thoughts and fantasies. What would happen if I did it? How will people react?
Now this could be an just a period of feeling down, but I'm still worried that it would go like last year. Starts late October, carries to November.
If I was to sum up the current things on my mind, it would be that on top of my chronic pain, I now have this proto-depression lingering. So there are now two things that make it harder to get out of bed. When the weather starts to get colder, it's gonna be three things that makes it hard to get out of bed.
And so, I'd like to "catch" this before it goes any further, I feel like I am "sane" now, and can deal with it. Anything from an alternative view point of my situation, words of encouragement, empathy, or ways that helped *you* get out of your depression would be much appreciated. Also please try to summarize things and source more links and resources if you want me to check them out, I know that you're trying to help, but I'm not in the mood to click on links.
1. Loss of pleasure. I couldn't even distract myself from what was going on.
2. Loss of appetite, I didn't even feel the need to drink water! That water thing still baffles me to this day.
3. Psycho motor retardation. What it means that every action feels as if it would requires tremendous amounts of energy.
4. Suicidal Thoughts and fantasies. What would happen if I did it? How will people react?
Now this could be an just a period of feeling down, but I'm still worried that it would go like last year. Starts late October, carries to November.
If I was to sum up the current things on my mind, it would be that on top of my chronic pain, I now have this proto-depression lingering. So there are now two things that make it harder to get out of bed. When the weather starts to get colder, it's gonna be three things that makes it hard to get out of bed.
And so, I'd like to "catch" this before it goes any further, I feel like I am "sane" now, and can deal with it. Anything from an alternative view point of my situation, words of encouragement, empathy, or ways that helped *you* get out of your depression would be much appreciated. Also please try to summarize things and source more links and resources if you want me to check them out, I know that you're trying to help, but I'm not in the mood to click on links.
