I wish I lived alone

[rebeccaspins]

I feel so trapped and hopeless. I've been this way for years. I'm stuck living with my mum and her aggressive partner and it's killing me inside. He has extreme anger issues just like my father. I feel like a naughty child when in fact I'm a 24-year-old woman with a Masters degree from a great university. He has his own stressed which he takes out on me because I'm a 'little girl'. And my mum always back him up. I had no luck getting a job after my studies and my mother guilt-tripped me into moving back in with her. She has always supported her partners over me and I have to deal with his aggressive behaviour and mood swings on a daily basis (he doesn't work either). I have no friends or family to support me and I want to end it all. I cry myself to sleep at night and wish I wouldn't wake up again. They treat me terribly and have broken me down completely.

 

[Were all together]

Is there any way to get a place of your own?

 

[rebeccaspins]

Is there any way to get a place of your own?

Embarrassingly, I'm unemployed. It wouldn't be possible. I'm so ashamed of myself. I've worked for six years to get a Masters degree but no one will hire me. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Everything seems very hopeless. It doesn't help that my mother and her boyfriend refer to me as a little child and tell me I have no chance of succeeding on my own. I feel like I'm still where I was when I was 16.

 

[Were all together]

Embarrassingly, I'm unemployed. It wouldn't be possible. I'm so ashamed of myself. I've worked for six years to get a Masters degree but no one will hire me. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Everything seems very hopeless. It doesn't help that my mother and her boyfriend refer to me as a little child and tell me I have no chance of succeeding on my own. I feel like I'm still where I was when I was 16.

What is your degree in?

 

[rebeccaspins]

What is your degree in?

My BA was in English Language and Literature and my second in Eighteenth-Century Studies at The British Museum (in order to progress to a museum-based career). Unfortunately I've received no career help and have been rejected by all roles I've applied to. I've done some freelance writing during my time at university (not amazingly paid) but I've decided to apply to writing positions instead as my work experience is clearly more valuable than my academic. Though both seem to be getting me nowhere.

 

[Were all together]

My BA was in English Language and Literature and my second in Eighteenth-Century Studies at The British Museum (in order to progress to a museum-based career). Unfortunately I've received no career help and have been rejected by all roles I've applied to. I've done some freelance writing during my time at university (not amazingly paid) but I've decided to apply to writing positions instead as my work experience is clearly more valuable than my academic. Though both seem to be getting me nowhere.

You have degrees that can take you anywhere. Have you tried career centers or Employment services?

 

[rebeccaspins]

You have degrees that can take you anywhere. Have you tried career centers or Employment services?

I tried my university careers centre and they told me to look online, so that wasn't really helpful. It put me off, to be honest. I made a post on StudentRoom but I got a lot of nasty comments back. At the moment I'm trying to apply to as many as I can and hope for the best. The only roles I've ever got are ones where I've 'known someone'. Applying directly or through agencies doesn't seem to get me anywhere. Also just been confronted by my mum's boyfriend again. It's such a difficult environment to be in...

 

[Were all together]

I tried my university careers centre and they told me to look online, so that wasn't really helpful. It put me off, to be honest. I made a post on StudentRoom but I got a lot of nasty comments back. At the moment I'm trying to apply to as many as I can and hope for the best. The only roles I've ever got are ones where I've 'known someone'. Applying directly or through agencies doesn't seem to get me anywhere. Also just been confronted by my mum's boyfriend again. It's such a difficult environment to be in...

We need to find you something. Even if it isn't along your degree. Best thing is for you to leave the toxic environment.

 

[Petal]

I have no advice but just want you to know that you do not have to struggle alone,we're here for you, vent, talk, rant all you like, i'm happy posting here seems to be helping you, Best wishes s*

 

[Winter Blues]

I feel so trapped and hopeless. I've been this way for years. I'm stuck living with my mum and her aggressive partner and it's killing me inside. He has extreme anger issues just like my father. I feel like a naughty child when in fact I'm a 24-year-old woman with a Masters degree from a great university. He has his own stressed which he takes out on me because I'm a 'little girl'. And my mum always back him up. I had no luck getting a job after my studies and my mother guilt-tripped me into moving back in with her. She has always supported her partners over me and I have to deal with his aggressive behaviour and mood swings on a daily basis (he doesn't work either). I have no friends or family to support me and I want to end it all. I cry myself to sleep at night and wish I wouldn't wake up again. They treat me terribly and have broken me down completely.

Dear you, do I get the feeling you live in the UK - if so, have you tried the Indeed agency, or something like the Times Ed paper. I can't believe you haven't been able to get a job with such a degree

 

[Winter Blues]

If you are in the UK have you tried something like Policy Connect who actively employ women. They are the researchers for parliament - and your skills, degree would be perfect. Check them out on the internet. I have worked with a lot of Policy Connect university folk - and they seem to enjoy it. x

 

[MagickLynx]

Have you tried any women's shelters.. it's just it sounds even though he's not your partner, you're being subjected to domestic abuse..

 

[rebeccaspins]

We need to find you something. Even if it isn't along your degree. Best thing is for you to leave the toxic environment.

I'm currently staying at my grandmother's. I doubt I'll be able to stay for more than a couple of days though. I'm currently applying for jobs on a daily basis! I don't know where I'm going wrong. Thank you for the support.

 

[rebeccaspins]

I have no advice but just want you to know that you do not have to struggle alone,we're here for you, vent, talk, rant all you like, i'm happy posting here seems to be helping you, Best wishes s*

Thank you so much. I've lost contact with so many people that this place seems to be my best bet for social interaction and support. I appreciate your comment!

 

[rebeccaspins]

If you are in the UK have you tried something like Policy Connect who actively employ women. They are the researchers for parliament - and your skills, degree would be perfect. Check them out on the internet. I have worked with a lot of Policy Connect university folk - and they seem to enjoy it. x

Thank you for your suggestions! I am in the UK. I've done many a job hunt on Indeed! I will add Times to my list. And thank you for the Policy Connect suggestion—I've seen a research role on there and have applied for it. I'm worried it might not fit my skill set exactly because most of my experience has been academic, but I've received so many rejections that I don't have anything to lose!

 

[rebeccaspins]

Have you tried any women's shelters.. it's just it sounds even though he's not your partner, you're being subjected to domestic abuse..

I'd agree with you. I've done some Googling and there are some homeless shelters around. I'm not sure how I'd get in touch with them though. All of the contact options are for volunteers! I'll set some time aside and look into it. Thanks.

 

[Sunspots]

I'm sorry things are not working out for you at the moment. It does sound as if getting away from your mother's partner would really help. Have you tried CAB for advice on if there's any support available to get you out of there?
Or maybe Shelter could help point you in the right direction...
https://england.shelter.org.uk/hous...young_people/family_problems_and_leaving_home
Local councils seem like a good place to start too - you'll probably be entitled to housing benefit among other forms of financial assistance.

Career wise it seems ridiculous that someone with your amazing qualifications and intellect can't find a job. I really feel for you, it must be so frustrating. Most job centres have careers advisors attached to them that can help identify new areas/ideas that you may not have thought of. They can also offer invaluable help with optimising your CV so it looks more attractive to potential employers. They may even be able to help with voluntary positions/internships that could help you get important work experience in your chosen field.

Don't let your mother's partner sap your confidence in your abilities. Your past record of your qualifications is living proof of your abilities. He sounds like a total arsehole.

 

[Kiwi2016]

I am so sorry that you are struggling right now. As a fellow former museum person I can relate to how difficult it is to get jobs in the field as they are few and far between. I wondered if you knew of Global Museum which is an international website based in New Zealand as they list positions? Also agree that volunteering can sometimes lead to a full-time position so maybe finding somewhere that is offering internships either in museums or in writing might be useful. And maybe also join organizations in your area for either museums or writing as that might be a useful way to network and learn of opportunities that may not get posted as so often it seems that is the case. I hope as well that you are able to find a place to live on your own so you are away from your mother's partner. Just take to heart that you do matter, you clearly have an inner strength and are accomplished and knowledgeable in your field for having completed a BA and an MA and that you aren't alone as we are here for you. Sending you hugs.

 

[rebeccaspins]

I'm sorry things are not working out for you at the moment. It does sound as if getting away from your mother's partner would really help. Have you tried CAB for advice on if there's any support available to get you out of there?
Or maybe Shelter could help point you in the right direction...
https://england.shelter.org.uk/hous...young_people/family_problems_and_leaving_home
Local councils seem like a good place to start too - you'll probably be entitled to housing benefit among other forms of financial assistance.

Career wise it seems ridiculous that someone with your amazing qualifications and intellect can't find a job. I really feel for you, it must be so frustrating. Most job centres have careers advisors attached to them that can help identify new areas/ideas that you may not have thought of. They can also offer invaluable help with optimising your CV so it looks more attractive to potential employers. They may even be able to help with voluntary positions/internships that could help you get important work experience in your chosen field.

Don't let your mother's partner sap your confidence in your abilities. Your past record of your qualifications is living proof of your abilities. He sounds like a total arsehole.

Thank you for your advice! I haven't tried CAB yet but I will do! I have tried to claim JSA to help me out in the meantime. I'm fortunate to be staying with my grandmother at the moment but I know I can't stay much longer so I will try to find a shelter. I have a job centre appointment tomorrow so hopefully I can explain my situation and get some help.

 

[rebeccaspins]

I am so sorry that you are struggling right now. As a fellow former museum person I can relate to how difficult it is to get jobs in the field as they are few and far between. I wondered if you knew of Global Museum which is an international website based in New Zealand as they list positions? Also agree that volunteering can sometimes lead to a full-time position so maybe finding somewhere that is offering internships either in museums or in writing might be useful. And maybe also join organizations in your area for either museums or writing as that might be a useful way to network and learn of opportunities that may not get posted as so often it seems that is the case. I hope as well that you are able to find a place to live on your own so you are away from your mother's partner. Just take to heart that you do matter, you clearly have an inner strength and are accomplished and knowledgeable in your field for having completed a BA and an MA and that you aren't alone as we are here for you. Sending you hugs.

Thanks for your reply; it's good to know someone else understands the difficulty of finding jobs! I've bookmarked Global Museum so will give that a look. I've been looking at writing roles at the moment. I would love to volunteer in a museum if I could get fare support. Maybe the job centre can help me out there. Yes, I've noticed that most organisations have fees but maybe if I do some hunting I can find some helpful ones. It seems inevitable that I'll have to fork out a bit of money in these things, but as long as it helps push me in the right direction I'm happy with that. Thank you for the support. It's nice to know I have people to confide in!