Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Annette, Nov 11, 2017.

  1. Annette

    Annette Well-Known Member

    I feel like I am just getting worse. I was sexually abused by my mom's ex husband while I was growing up. I did report it within the statute of limitations but it was "he said, she said" (according to law enforcement.) I wanted to establish a good life for myself out in the world. I was engaged to a woman at age 21 and she assaulted me in a sexual way with her hands and I was afraid to go to the hospital because of the stigma. I still remember how cold and empty I felt. I needed to be surrounded by love. I still do and I don't know when that will be. I kept trying to reach out. No one would see me/ date me/ touch me after these things happened and I was judged based on my story. I hope this will reach someone because I can't promise how much longer I will be around. I am in too much pain and still reach periods when I cannot speak.
  2. EmB

    EmB Well-Known Member

    Hi Annette

    Sorry to hear this. It's really difficult to go through this kind of thing, especially when you try to speak out and you're not listened to. We'll listen, though, and we're here for you. If you wanna talk about it more feel free to reach out :)

    Sending hugs

  3. rachelangelo

    rachelangelo Member

    I can't put myself in your shoes as I have never experienced sexual abuse. But, what I can tell you is that you have value. People have tried to steal and pervert your value, but your value is 100% dependent on the fact that you are a human being. You deserve to love yourself! I had really bad self-worth issues for years. One day, I decided that I was going to love myself. I started speaking positive words about myself out loud everyday. Over time, my entire outlook changed. Don't let a few horrible people decide the course of your life. You are the better person! Live your life and prove everyone wrong.
  4. Dottie

    Dottie Public Access

    Being sexually-abused by people you should have been able to trust not to hurt you is something that simply changes the way we move through the world. It's difficult to allow yourself to be intimate with someone when you were violated and traumatized by someone who should have only loved you.

    I was raped by one of my best friends, who was also a guy I dated for a couple years once upon a time. In other words, I cared deeply for this person. He was someone I thought wouldn't even think about hurting me, and he hurt me worse than anyone ever has. It's been one of the longest, bumpiest, most difficult journeys of my life to recover. What you're feeling and going through right now is absolutely healthy and normal. The pain you're feeling means you're dealing with it.

    This guy raped me while I was in a relationship with my ex-boyfriend. And he still stayed with me for the next seven years.

    Someone will still see you, date you, touch you. You are not tainted. Your body is not ruined. Someone is capable of loving all of you, including the fact that these incredibly painful and horrible experiences are part of your past.
  5. SaraSoder

    SaraSoder Member

    I'm sorry you had to go through this.
    It happened to me too and I did report it to the police later on when I had enough courage but then it was too late and none believed me.
    Just remember, you're not alone.
    Take care