• Please read the thread in Forum News and Announcements pertaining to race related discussion on SF - thank you :)

Just a post of random thoughts.

Status
Not open for further replies.

Mremptyinside

Well-Known Member
I fucked up today, badly, and this jussed messed with my mind again because i again thought of nothing else then just wanting to die and be gone for good to just not have those feelings of having messed up anymore.
i also found out that i only live for others. as i was single i lived so my sister would not have to grow up with a brother who offed himself and now i just live for my gf. i never once lived for myself... i just dont care for that part much. and thats a struggle i need to somehow fix because you cant live without somhow loving ur self and caring for yourself.
if those ppl did not exsist i would just not care what would happen to me as i dont value my life like others do...
 

Witty✯Sarcasm

Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen
SF Supporter
Hey I'm sorry you're feeling this way right now. I know it hurts to do badly at something you're usually good at, but I know you have it in you to do better next time. Is there something that's distracting you from remembering things for the exams? Is there anything stressful going on in your life right now?
 

Mremptyinside

Well-Known Member
Hey I'm sorry you're feeling this way right now. I know it hurts to do badly at something you're usually good at, but I know you have it in you to do better next time. Is there something that's distracting you from remembering things for the exams? Is there anything stressful going on in your life right now?
no it should have been fine, i didnt even had any cinds of fears beforehand this time and then the teacher asked some stuff that messed with my setup and everything in my head just went blank. hate this. like in school in the past. something that should normally not happen anymore
 

Witty✯Sarcasm

Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen
SF Supporter
Well just be confident, like Rambo or something. Come in there and kick that exam's ass next time. XD Don't mind me, It's 7:30 in the morning here and I haven't slept at all. I'm a worse insomniac than I was before, haha.
 

Mremptyinside

Well-Known Member
And my will to live on, ceeps slipping towards the point of no regret and final end, someday overstepping the boarder of still caring about live to not giving a damn shit anymore and ending it. Living on in this fucked up world full of fucked up paths just does'nt seem to agree with my will to live onwards... someday i will just ...not care anymore... its totally useless and empty anyway why even bother to fill it with storys...
 

Mremptyinside

Well-Known Member
View attachment 13857
Do you know this feeling... of a special day comming up, tho you don't care **** even tho everyone else is hyped about it and you have to play along as they but so much work and funn into it, tho you just think "kill me now i want to be alone and have a chilled day with no stress or care for the world"... yeah its that time of year again for me....sooooon....tooo soooon, and right after i will have to fucking work my ass of again for 6 months. i need a change of pace and surrounding so bad. but what can you do is everything is preset to go...that...one...direction!... fuck life and its ways. beeing free is something you loose at some point in your life and then you walk ...that...path you where set up with, or you choose to take even if you did not fully intendet it to be that exact path.
yeah i know i often say change it yourself but if its the only path you can really take right now as its the one right now that would be choosen to be the best, (ignoring the fact that its the only one you know) as other better paths lurk in the hollow bejond laughting at what the hell i took this path as those would have been much grater. but whatever. View attachment 13858 View attachment 13856 View attachment 13859

now its clening my room, finding old memorys, putting them in boxes, and changing my room a pit, its the smallest thing i can change but it should have an impact. and i guess i reaaaalllyyy need to start my sport routine again afterwords... and maby backing cookies so i can eat all of what i have to get rid with sports again ^^
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$185.00
Goal
$255.00
Top