its started off good ate oreo pancakes flr brkfast and it only went downhill from there
took a shower feelt dizzy, went to class had a good. no one showed up to study group. went home ate lunch and rushed hw.
did a return at marshalls, and tried to take a bus to the target like 10 mins behind the bus, and taking the 111 my roommate warned me about. took it to downtown cuz i forgot whcih number she told me to avoid. regreted it got off tried to take 93 got dropped off 35 mins walking distance. asked a 7 eleven employee if he knew where target the nearest was. he didnt know. a customer who walked in pointed me in its direction. So i used google maps to walk there like 20 ish mins in it was evening so dark, i saw car pull up next to me. it was the customer who gave me directions from earlier. He said sorry pointing to his map that he gave me wrong direction, and hoped i wasnt walking that away. and offered to drop me off, i initially refused but when he asked the second time, i was already tired so said yes. he asked about if i lived in the a rea, if i smoke (also talked about how be was there to get tacos and he was seaty feom playing soccer or somethinb) , so i roughly pointed to the area i was there cuz its technically the opposite area and farther from where i live. he was like you know how to get back with the bus, and like if i want his number for if i needed anything, and if he should wait so he can give me a ride home. I was saying no, i knew how to get bck home. and just did my return, and end up breaking down about everything. at the target return counter about everything.
its the target behind my school too. I asked target ppl if it was close to the school, and they were like ya. i end up doin return, and using google maps and walking back to my school to catch shuttle therw. my roommate was even like u can walk from school.
i.got too lazy to wait 30 mins to catch next bus after my first return, which would taken me there directly. Heck i couldve asked both of them to go with me but my fricking brains like oh theyre busy? doi ask them? shud i? my sister even warned me when i got lodt yesterday.
i am.in this new city for school for a month got lost so much, already, my mom sis begged em to take the car with enough time to get parking permit. but idk if its my autism or adhd. driving scares, especially the idea of driving in a new area or long hours. I ended up stressing out my roommate ms and mom and sister who were like i would wove tooke u or came with if u told me.
im like scared if ill be like this the rst of my life. i can go places and ot hings by myself but social, communication but day to day decisions making and processing i cant do, after a while my brain cant function decisions.
like what if i graduate and live alone and still get into trouble like this? like im sick of messing it up the first time, cuz i dont trust my decisions or not follow theough with my instincts, and just stress and get anxious hoping for a second chance each and everytime, being scared wait to go to therapy talk about it and fuck some more. i used to be able to drive better home, but the idea of messing up scares me so bad,and tkaing responsibility, that i end up putting myself soemtimes others in dangerous situations.
i dont know what to do any more. the returns are not worth the stess. every time i mess up once, im scared to go out again. i keep making things awakward. i dont know anymore. what the fuxk am i doing? i moved here for schooll. all i keep doing is esting or focusing on random events not actually studying or doing good in my job. always looking for soemthing better and the next thing than the one i have. always trying to do something but cannot follow thru.
I CANNOT DO ANYTHING ANYMORE. IDK how i used to function, make decisons, do things. i cant even make a choice anymore. my health is suffering, i put myself in danger, stress everythinng and everybody out, i am very very scared lost of myself. my policy used to be trust myself, if i cant trust no one else. but now i cant even trust myself.
took a shower feelt dizzy, went to class had a good. no one showed up to study group. went home ate lunch and rushed hw.
did a return at marshalls, and tried to take a bus to the target like 10 mins behind the bus, and taking the 111 my roommate warned me about. took it to downtown cuz i forgot whcih number she told me to avoid. regreted it got off tried to take 93 got dropped off 35 mins walking distance. asked a 7 eleven employee if he knew where target the nearest was. he didnt know. a customer who walked in pointed me in its direction. So i used google maps to walk there like 20 ish mins in it was evening so dark, i saw car pull up next to me. it was the customer who gave me directions from earlier. He said sorry pointing to his map that he gave me wrong direction, and hoped i wasnt walking that away. and offered to drop me off, i initially refused but when he asked the second time, i was already tired so said yes. he asked about if i lived in the a rea, if i smoke (also talked about how be was there to get tacos and he was seaty feom playing soccer or somethinb) , so i roughly pointed to the area i was there cuz its technically the opposite area and farther from where i live. he was like you know how to get back with the bus, and like if i want his number for if i needed anything, and if he should wait so he can give me a ride home. I was saying no, i knew how to get bck home. and just did my return, and end up breaking down about everything. at the target return counter about everything.
its the target behind my school too. I asked target ppl if it was close to the school, and they were like ya. i end up doin return, and using google maps and walking back to my school to catch shuttle therw. my roommate was even like u can walk from school.
i.got too lazy to wait 30 mins to catch next bus after my first return, which would taken me there directly. Heck i couldve asked both of them to go with me but my fricking brains like oh theyre busy? doi ask them? shud i? my sister even warned me when i got lodt yesterday.
i am.in this new city for school for a month got lost so much, already, my mom sis begged em to take the car with enough time to get parking permit. but idk if its my autism or adhd. driving scares, especially the idea of driving in a new area or long hours. I ended up stressing out my roommate ms and mom and sister who were like i would wove tooke u or came with if u told me.
im like scared if ill be like this the rst of my life. i can go places and ot hings by myself but social, communication but day to day decisions making and processing i cant do, after a while my brain cant function decisions.
like what if i graduate and live alone and still get into trouble like this? like im sick of messing it up the first time, cuz i dont trust my decisions or not follow theough with my instincts, and just stress and get anxious hoping for a second chance each and everytime, being scared wait to go to therapy talk about it and fuck some more. i used to be able to drive better home, but the idea of messing up scares me so bad,and tkaing responsibility, that i end up putting myself soemtimes others in dangerous situations.
i dont know what to do any more. the returns are not worth the stess. every time i mess up once, im scared to go out again. i keep making things awakward. i dont know anymore. what the fuxk am i doing? i moved here for schooll. all i keep doing is esting or focusing on random events not actually studying or doing good in my job. always looking for soemthing better and the next thing than the one i have. always trying to do something but cannot follow thru.
I CANNOT DO ANYTHING ANYMORE. IDK how i used to function, make decisons, do things. i cant even make a choice anymore. my health is suffering, i put myself in danger, stress everythinng and everybody out, i am very very scared lost of myself. my policy used to be trust myself, if i cant trust no one else. but now i cant even trust myself.