life celebration

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Annette

Well-Known Member
#1
I went to a funeral held on a college campus yesterday for someone/ a manager who died recently (from a job that I have just resigned from.) It was for both the person I knew, who died from a random heart issue and also for a young man who died from a suicide. There were a lot of people there and I felt sad knowing that if I ever have an end of life ceremony that there are not many people who are close to me or that I feel like care. I have always been told that family is what you make it, and having come out of a bad family growing up, I thought I would find chosen family and surround myself with good people like everyone always has said, but it did not happen. I have cared about people and my online friends are my family and I love you all. I will only have holiday plans if I go to a community dinner open to all. The store manager was there and I hugged her and patted her on the back and she said okay abruptly, as if to cut me off. I am not some emotional heavy or a monster. I am just a person with feelings and people ran from me. The holidays are going to be very hard for me.
 

dtc

at least that's what I keep telling myself!
#2
Sorry to hear you had such a terrible experiance. People deal with grief in lots of different ways, and maybe this person just wasn't able to handle her own emotions so ran at the slightest sign of any else showing, and that just happened to be you.

Holidays can be hard, but you know people are always here for you.

Take care
 

KG654

Well-Known Member
#3
I'm so sorry you are feeling so alone! Many times at funerals and sad times some people can't cope w tears or feelings so they stop you from triggering those feelings. It probably had much more to do w her inabilities to deal rather than anything about you. Are you involved in any meetings or do you have support groups? I am unable to be close w my family because of abusive spouses and altho it saddens me so much, having my church family has helped tremendously! They are close and would be there for me. Also, what about joining a meetup or group that is either volunteering w a team to help someone or meets about an interest you have such as cooking, singing, art... Then you get to know people who have similar interests and values as you. These can be the closest relationships. Make the effort to reach out since so many are wanting to but unsure of self or shy, you will find those who you reach out to will make the best friends! Hope this helps! =) It is better to have a few close friends than many acquaintances.
 

Dawn

Well-Known Member
#4
Hi Annette, sorry about everything u are going through! I feel u because I am in the same boat. I too had an abusive family growing up and wanted my own family more than anything. Didn't work out and it is so hard to be so alone. Not having kids is killing me along with other things too. Everyday i can't believe my life turned out like this. Loneliness is so terrible. They say, "u are not alone". But some ppl truly are, I am one of them. I think about the funeral thing too, and I wouldn't even see the point of one for me, because no one cares. I hope that u get to feeling better! I am also going to be alone on the holidays and thinking of going to a community place, if i can make it there. Please feel free to PM me anytime, I mean that. Wishing the best for u and u are in my thoughts and prayers.
 

Dawn

Well-Known Member
#5
Forgot to say, everyone is so kind here and I know u care. Just hard when don't have that IRL and I am so sick with a tumor and other med probs rarely leave the house. Annette, didn't mean to turn your thread about me. Sorry about that. I think it's time for me to post my story so I get this out
 
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