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Meditation 30 days

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#1
I feel sort of confused today. Some flashbacks merge with the illusion of the future. Expectations become overshadowed by pessimism, hope wrestles with scepticism. A strange mix of all feelings that guide nowhere.
I have been wanting to try meditation for a long time now. Maybe it could dismiss this mess of feelings and thought voices in my head. Maybe, If I would go inside my mind more often, I would find things... It is said that we all hold the answers to our questions inside of us. I do believe and intuitevly know that it really is so.

My depression backed off mainly when I understood that I don't know who I am. I felt it. What am I doing here, what do I want my life to be? Am I evil or am I good? What do I stand for? I thought I used to know these things, but now, I don't think so.
I used to think, that I should do all these things, like writing, drawing, learning music so that I would become someone, but I didn't. I have been busy by fearing that I will grow up without any talents, that I will be boring and stuff. That I need to be great at these things so that I wouldn't be a waste of time. Of course, art is in my soul and I need it, else wise, I can't survive, but there is more to life.
I don't know who I am anymore. I change with every year. I get older, I regress, I make mistakes. I learn new things that make me wonder.
Knowing who you are is a foundation for your life. A strong base will make a firm person.

Anywayyyssssss!
I'm trying meditation. I have done it in the past, I think it helped, though I wasn't consistent. I'll do my best to make it a habit. I will start now and check in every day to stay motivated. My choice is mindfulness meditation and breathing exercises. I already feel all of this as a thorn in my ass, but I know that It will be good for me and... I have to try.

I suppose I will consciously put aside all the obligations that I have put upon myself and just relax. See where it goes.

Bye Chucky, we will be together again one day :D
(ok, I think I have had too much Skittles today)
sfff.jpg
 
#5
Day 3
Just finished "meditation". Got only through 5 minutes + centring. I feel calmer and sleepy, energized at the same time.
No special thoughts came to mind.
 
#8
Day 4 and 5, check!
The breathing technique felt good. I noticed that I can inhale and exhale to a count of 5, instead of 3 as when I was a smoker. I,m really happy about that.
 

Merseymike

Well-Known Member
#9
I am meditating too. 44 days now
If you want a very good free app I would recommend Insight Timer. Loads of guided meditations and others - music, mantras etc and also a timer where you can set opening, interval, and closing bells, ambient music etc
 
#12
Day 6 - 15 min
Day 7 - 20 min
Check!

Today was awesome! Felt really relaxed. Saw a beautiful bright blue color, my eyes were closed. The light was so bright that there was no site of black tones. After that, I felt I'm in a forest. It felt as if I'm fully in my mind, fluid and... I'm not sure how to describe it.
So far, so good.
 
#13
Today was awesome! Felt really relaxed. Saw a beautiful bright blue color, my eyes were closed. The light was so bright that there was no site of black tones. After that, I felt I'm in a forest. It felt as if I'm fully in my mind, fluid
Wow! You're getting those effects with just 20 minutes of meditation?

You seem to be a natural at this
 
#15
forgot meditation yesterday/day 7. Some no life changed my pc admin password. With all the fixing of the situation, forgot all about meditation.
 

Merseymike

Well-Known Member
#16
You can miss a day without a problem - did you have a look at Insight Timer? There are quickie 1 minute meditations there for those occasions
 
#17
You can miss a day without a problem - did you have a look at Insight Timer? There are quickie 1 minute meditations there for those occasions
Yes I took a look at it but since I'm the only person without an iphone these days, I cant get it :D
I think I just did feel like it :( yesterday was the same thing, will try to catch up today :)
 
#18
Day 8 - check
Day - 9, 10, 11, 12 - where the hell was I? I literally forgot to meditate. Ok, will try to remember today! Lately memory ir really messed up
 

Walker

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#19
read back through the thread at how great you were feeling. sounds like it was working awesome. keep up the good work. (makes me want to try.. hmm)
 
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