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Musings, ideas, what are you thinking about?
- Thread starter Gonz
- Start date
Saw a tiktok video of comparing two different nail polish which was obvious but apparently men don’t see it and women do. And it has to do with how men are with xy chromosomes therefore shorter range of color perception compared to women with xx chromosomes who can see more colors.
I’m a transwoman and felt validated because those two purple nail polish are not the same shade — one is darker. Is this because I have been under hrt for almost two decades. Then again this is the internet and people can say anything they want without strong basis to back it up… this could just be about being colorblind.
I’m a transwoman and felt validated because those two purple nail polish are not the same shade — one is darker. Is this because I have been under hrt for almost two decades. Then again this is the internet and people can say anything they want without strong basis to back it up… this could just be about being colorblind.
When I was young, I was told I was too noisy, I move too much, I look around too much, that I’m not responsive when being asked to answer them.
When I was skinny, they would often buy me clothes that are two sizes too small for me, so I always felt like I wasn’t thin enough, that I was fat.
Now that I am actually bigger, all they can comment to me is about my size.
And yet they wonder why I’m too quiet, why I am impatient with them, I’d rather be alone and distance myself from everyone. Because when I’m alone I’m actually at peace, I’d rather be alone than be surrounded by people who always remind me about all the things that is wrong with me.
When I was skinny, they would often buy me clothes that are two sizes too small for me, so I always felt like I wasn’t thin enough, that I was fat.
Now that I am actually bigger, all they can comment to me is about my size.
And yet they wonder why I’m too quiet, why I am impatient with them, I’d rather be alone and distance myself from everyone. Because when I’m alone I’m actually at peace, I’d rather be alone than be surrounded by people who always remind me about all the things that is wrong with me.
So I found out that not only did I have a shut-in grandfather that committed suicide, I have a great-grandfather that died in a mental institute. This is in addition to another great-grandfather who murdered my great-grandmother. This is all in addition to stuff I don’t want to get into right now that has gone on with much more recent generations.
A lot of my recent ancestors were mentally ill, and a few were violent criminals. I was diagnosed as bipolar, which my grandmother was believed to be (she also spent time in a mental ward, but it was relatively short and uneventful).
If there’s an inheritable component to mental illness, then I got off relatively light, all things considered.
Tl;dr: I‘m a crazy person, from a long and illustrious line of crazy people.
A lot of my recent ancestors were mentally ill, and a few were violent criminals. I was diagnosed as bipolar, which my grandmother was believed to be (she also spent time in a mental ward, but it was relatively short and uneventful).
If there’s an inheritable component to mental illness, then I got off relatively light, all things considered.
Tl;dr: I‘m a crazy person, from a long and illustrious line of crazy people.
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I bought an actual slice of parmesan cheese, for the longest time it was always the shredded version in a bag or those powder version in a jar which according to the ingredients it is not real cheese it’s tree bark cellulose or something…
I thought it would be so different and life changing to actually try real one from the block…
texture wise, they are different from the packet and jar version.
flavor wise, they’re the same.
I thought it would be so different and life changing to actually try real one from the block…
texture wise, they are different from the packet and jar version.
flavor wise, they’re the same.
When will this physically pain stop already. All the uears me being here with mental and emotional issues start to fade in comparison of bodily pain which never goes away. Walked and chanted for about 15 minutes and was already so broken that I had to take a painkiller. Can't wait for sunrise so my sis can give me rest of the tablets for today.
chronic pain is an insedious thing. i have always said even a minor chronic pain is much worse than more severe acute pain like say a broken leg, because chronic pain never ever leaves, and even though better in sleep it disrupts sleep. you are not alone and i'm sorry you have to go through this.
mike....
mike....
chronic pain is an insedious thing. i have always said even a minor chronic pain is much worse than more severe acute pain like say a broken leg, because chronic pain never ever leaves, and even though better in sleep it disrupts sleep. you are not alone and i'm sorry you have to go through this.
mike....
mike....
Lots of things I’m thinking about and a bit stressed about right now, some of the main ones are:
- Physical pain problem - hoping it will be better very soon, trying not to let it get me down or feeling hopeless (or helpless), and also trying hard to stay patient about it since I never “know” when it will be better.
- Easter - Will be visiting with sis for a couple days. I’m overall looking forward to it much more than I was, now that sis is willing to step in and help with a certain problem I’m dealing with with our mom. Mostly not looking forward to the long trip there (and then back only 2 days later, which usually goes by quite quickly) and also still torn about whether to bring up a thing I’ve felt upset and confused about.
- Landlord coming by AGAIN tomorrow and I don’t really even know why ffs. He wasn’t able to fix the sink, is having a plumber come by to fix it Monday, so…? Doesn’t seem to make much sense that he’s coming by again tomorrow, but whatever. Just hope he won’t end up being here for 3+ hours again like yesterday. He’s really loud and there’s something kinda “demanding” about his energy. It’s hard to explain. I just don’t really enjoy being around him.
- Monday - plumber coming by, going to get our taxes done, having to make the appointment for her (assuming I’ll be able to pull that off) and then having to TELL her after that I’ve made the appointment for her. Pretty sure she won’t be happy about it and will be asking me stuff about it like “why did I do that?” and probably other things too.
Ugh. Lots of stresses and worries right now for sure.
- Physical pain problem - hoping it will be better very soon, trying not to let it get me down or feeling hopeless (or helpless), and also trying hard to stay patient about it since I never “know” when it will be better.
- Easter - Will be visiting with sis for a couple days. I’m overall looking forward to it much more than I was, now that sis is willing to step in and help with a certain problem I’m dealing with with our mom. Mostly not looking forward to the long trip there (and then back only 2 days later, which usually goes by quite quickly) and also still torn about whether to bring up a thing I’ve felt upset and confused about.
- Landlord coming by AGAIN tomorrow and I don’t really even know why ffs. He wasn’t able to fix the sink, is having a plumber come by to fix it Monday, so…? Doesn’t seem to make much sense that he’s coming by again tomorrow, but whatever. Just hope he won’t end up being here for 3+ hours again like yesterday. He’s really loud and there’s something kinda “demanding” about his energy. It’s hard to explain. I just don’t really enjoy being around him.
- Monday - plumber coming by, going to get our taxes done, having to make the appointment for her (assuming I’ll be able to pull that off) and then having to TELL her after that I’ve made the appointment for her. Pretty sure she won’t be happy about it and will be asking me stuff about it like “why did I do that?” and probably other things too.
Ugh. Lots of stresses and worries right now for sure.