Hello, sorry for my bad English. I am a 23 year old boy, who have been depressed and suicidal for some time now (read my other thread). The last couple of months i have started to look for answers and truth about life and the essence of who i am. I sometimes started to get this feeling that we all are one and the same, and that nothing really matters. I feel that nothing is good and bad, things just simply are. Our thoughts is an illusion in our mind. We are not our thoughts, we are not even our body. There is something deeper behind. I started to look at animals and small kids, and realized how much they are in their nature of their being. For them there are no future or past, and they dont have this inner voice that holds them back from being who they are. They only have sex (the animals) when they need to reproduce, and they only eat when they need to. They are only afraid of the danger that is happening in the moment, and not what happened or will happen. I feel like that also is humans true nature, but this culture has taken us away from it. I notice how we are born in the nature of who we are, but are moving away from it from the second we are born.
I think all the answers about ourselves has to come from inside us, and not the outside. My understanding of the religions have changed. I dont believe in a God, as in a holy figure sitting up in heaven looking down on us. I believe we all are God. We are creating our own world with our consciousness. Before consciousness there are no universe, therefore we are the universe. I could go on and talk about my realization, but i do not want to bore you.
For some it may sound like a depressing thought, and it may be at times. I find it hard to talk to people about, because they think i am going crazy, and that's why i am writing here. But i really think this is the ultimate way to freedom from your mind. A lot of ego is destroying this world, and i think we need to let go of our ego. I think this is where we will find real love, compassion and forgiveness.
This feeling comes and goes, and it does not last long at a time, but at least now i know where i want to go.
So after this realization i started to read and listen to different spiritual teachers (Eckhart Tolle, Alan Watts, Sadghuru etc.)
They are all talking about this spiritual awakening, where you lose your sense of self, which sounds as a scary and amazing thing at the same time, and i dont know what to make of it.
Is this real? Has anyone tried it?
Please give me your thoughts about all of this?
I think all the answers about ourselves has to come from inside us, and not the outside. My understanding of the religions have changed. I dont believe in a God, as in a holy figure sitting up in heaven looking down on us. I believe we all are God. We are creating our own world with our consciousness. Before consciousness there are no universe, therefore we are the universe. I could go on and talk about my realization, but i do not want to bore you.
For some it may sound like a depressing thought, and it may be at times. I find it hard to talk to people about, because they think i am going crazy, and that's why i am writing here. But i really think this is the ultimate way to freedom from your mind. A lot of ego is destroying this world, and i think we need to let go of our ego. I think this is where we will find real love, compassion and forgiveness.
This feeling comes and goes, and it does not last long at a time, but at least now i know where i want to go.
So after this realization i started to read and listen to different spiritual teachers (Eckhart Tolle, Alan Watts, Sadghuru etc.)
They are all talking about this spiritual awakening, where you lose your sense of self, which sounds as a scary and amazing thing at the same time, and i dont know what to make of it.
Is this real? Has anyone tried it?
Please give me your thoughts about all of this?
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