This was originally going to be just a lead up to 1 thought but it applied to so much that I am just going to do it section by section in the order it came to me, ignore the bits in bold, they are only so you can skip to the bit you want, they are not part of the flow of the following writing.
Dont wish to be someone else...
I have often wished to be someone else, someone who is smarter, stronger, more lucky, more popular and a hell of a lot happier, but around 17 I realized such thinking is just pointless, not just because it does no good to wish for what can never be, but because if I were that person then nothing would change for me, there would still be a me, and still be a them, and we would still both feel the same way we did before.
You are you, every tiny experience has made you who you are, you can wish to be LIKE someone else, but you can never become them because you have something they can never have, you have YOUR memories and YOUR mind, YOUR experiences, to become them you would have to lose all that and gain all of theirs in which case you couldn't enjoy the experience because you would just be them with all their worries, and wishing to be who they wish to be.
Dont regret who you were, that person wasnt you...
Then I got thinking, if every experience makes me who I am, distinct from everyone else, any new experience changes who I am, gives me something the past me didnt have, I am not just the same person with a new experience, I have become a new person, that person may be almost identical to the previous, or could be very different depending on the experience that changed me, so in every moment, in every day, the person you were dies and a new person is born, so never feel bad for past mistakes, you weren't the person you are now, if you regret at all it shows you are not the same person, even if the only difference is that you have decided to be different.
This idea gains even more weight when you add in Biology. Your cells are actually pretty weak, just by pressing my finger on my keyboard to type a single letter the pressure on my skin destroys thousands of skin cells, the only way you survive at all is because you body replaces destroyed cells as fast as they are lost. Each part of your body replaces these cells at different rates but eventually each part of your body is completely replaced, in fact after approximately 7 years there shouldn't be a single cell in your body left over from 7 years previous, even the material that made your old cells have been expelled and replaced by what you eat and breath meaning there is not a single trace of your old body left, meaning if you dont see someone for more than 7 years, their experiences and biology completely destroy who they were and generate a whole new person, in a way you can see the statute of limitations of guilt as 7 years because in every way that counts, you arent the person who was alive 7 years ago.
Dont hold grudges for too long, or you will just hate a memory...
Just as you change from moment to moment, becoming a new person, so does everyone else, that bully that was cruel to you when you were younger, they may not exist anymore, in fact, the guys who bullied me as a kid did so over 8 years ago, they DONT exist anymore, I even met one of their replacements recently, he was nothing like how he was, sure he didnt feel bad about how he treated me, but from his point of view he didnt know what he did was wrong, thats half the reason bullies act that way, because they dont know the harm they are doing, I dont hate my bullies, and I dont hate my dad for how he was when I was growing up, the people I know now are not the people I knew then, they dont act the same, they dont look the same, they arent even made of the same matter. If I were to hate them, I would only be hating the memory of someone long dead who exists now only in the heads of the people who knew them.
Dont wish to be someone else...
I have often wished to be someone else, someone who is smarter, stronger, more lucky, more popular and a hell of a lot happier, but around 17 I realized such thinking is just pointless, not just because it does no good to wish for what can never be, but because if I were that person then nothing would change for me, there would still be a me, and still be a them, and we would still both feel the same way we did before.
You are you, every tiny experience has made you who you are, you can wish to be LIKE someone else, but you can never become them because you have something they can never have, you have YOUR memories and YOUR mind, YOUR experiences, to become them you would have to lose all that and gain all of theirs in which case you couldn't enjoy the experience because you would just be them with all their worries, and wishing to be who they wish to be.
Dont regret who you were, that person wasnt you...
Then I got thinking, if every experience makes me who I am, distinct from everyone else, any new experience changes who I am, gives me something the past me didnt have, I am not just the same person with a new experience, I have become a new person, that person may be almost identical to the previous, or could be very different depending on the experience that changed me, so in every moment, in every day, the person you were dies and a new person is born, so never feel bad for past mistakes, you weren't the person you are now, if you regret at all it shows you are not the same person, even if the only difference is that you have decided to be different.
This idea gains even more weight when you add in Biology. Your cells are actually pretty weak, just by pressing my finger on my keyboard to type a single letter the pressure on my skin destroys thousands of skin cells, the only way you survive at all is because you body replaces destroyed cells as fast as they are lost. Each part of your body replaces these cells at different rates but eventually each part of your body is completely replaced, in fact after approximately 7 years there shouldn't be a single cell in your body left over from 7 years previous, even the material that made your old cells have been expelled and replaced by what you eat and breath meaning there is not a single trace of your old body left, meaning if you dont see someone for more than 7 years, their experiences and biology completely destroy who they were and generate a whole new person, in a way you can see the statute of limitations of guilt as 7 years because in every way that counts, you arent the person who was alive 7 years ago.
Dont hold grudges for too long, or you will just hate a memory...
Just as you change from moment to moment, becoming a new person, so does everyone else, that bully that was cruel to you when you were younger, they may not exist anymore, in fact, the guys who bullied me as a kid did so over 8 years ago, they DONT exist anymore, I even met one of their replacements recently, he was nothing like how he was, sure he didnt feel bad about how he treated me, but from his point of view he didnt know what he did was wrong, thats half the reason bullies act that way, because they dont know the harm they are doing, I dont hate my bullies, and I dont hate my dad for how he was when I was growing up, the people I know now are not the people I knew then, they dont act the same, they dont look the same, they arent even made of the same matter. If I were to hate them, I would only be hating the memory of someone long dead who exists now only in the heads of the people who knew them.