Anger, confusion, frustration, depression, anxiety, Fear, sadness, defeat.
Bullied from grade 1 up until grade 11 when i moved to a different city, didn't have any support from the school faculty because it was a small town and understaffed and didnt have much understanding from my family. I didnt know any different so i just took the abuse, being bullied as a child is a very destructive thing, your trying to learn and grow as a person, trying to be yourself and you dont get very much guidance your seeing experiencing and exploring many new things for the first time, your discovering the beginnings of yourself, writing your own story as you go. And suddenly theres a plot twist. suddenly someone makes a hurtful remark about you or something you said or did/have done, and it's confusing because you can't see the colors other people see, your eye sight isn't as good and you have to wear glasses to school, and they poke and prod you every day. Cut you down, say hurtful things, insult you very being.
You are a child, you dont know whats right, what's wrong and even though you don't like it you feel defeated and helpless because even the people who are supposed to be your friends cut you down from time to time and it's passed off as oh they didn't mean that, oh you'll be fine.
Instead of becoming a person who likes to color things their own way and draw their own way and express themself openly as an individual you get molded into a introverted, passive agressive person with trust issues and a wicked resting *itch face.
The amount of time lost to meaningless pain is disturbing, having that feeling hang over your head is a really hard way to live a life, it's even harder to forgive and forget but eventually it happens , the person who stayed hidden and defeated breaks out of the husk of pain and torment and learns that you can only do you and if people don't like it then walk away or remove them from your life.
kids sometimes follow percieved social norms, peer groups and anything that keeps their social status good with there peers.
May be they're life at home was very traumatizing and the only way they could cope was to pick on you, you learn that its not your fault and learn to forgive. Rise above and appreciate that you see your own colors and no one else can see what you do. You wear glasses because you were made to be able to see and perceive things close to you and ignore the blurry things far away.
Having kids was the icing on the cake, after years of coping and help i have an opportunity to do better than my childhood.
The pain doesn't go away, the pain made you who you are, eveyone effected by bullying has a choice, accept it as a part of your life and it made you who you are, accept that it was wrong. Accept that it taught you valuable lessons about humanity because it is part of who we are as a race.
Move on.
Enjoy your life free from it, learn, build, create and be the best you, free from being opressed.
Lots of things in life are easy but the things worth doing are hard.
The choice is yours.
