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Who Am I

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Miss Invisible

Well-Known Member
#1
Summer is ending:( Booo. Along with it the relaxation of; let's face it laziness;). If you've read my story you know that I have had two extensive domestic abuse ex-relationships . One that blessed me with two sons, now 21 and 18. The other with a wonderous blessing of my only beautiful daughter age 15 1/2.
Life has not been easy by any means as a single mother. It has been especially hurtful when my boys after reaching 18 decided to move in with their father. I decided not to fight it being they were now adults. But, my hurt runs deep. Since my second son has moved out I could not afford our three bedroom apt. Since it was short notice and we have dogs, we had to move into the extra rooms at my parents for a monthly fee. My parents are elderly and need help often in which I provide for them. My father is in the beginning stage of cancer, Alzheimer's and has Crohns. My mother is the best mother a girl could ask for but has severe spine issues. I am so thankful to have them.
I'm stressed out in regards to my sons, my ex loves to play mind games with me. Very passive aggressive and a complete narsasscist. I tried working with him, texting, calling, even writing but the level of control he must have is unbearable. He ruined my older sons graduation in the aspect of my involvement and has been undermining me again I believe because it's my other son's year of graduation. I have given up in working with this man. I will be there for my son but I have resigned myself in regards to his father. I feel like I must stand up for myself still supporting my son yet disengaging myself from his father completely. To me, this is the best thing I can do to keep my mental health safe.
I absolutely never thought my life for my children would be this way. I believed in the traditional way (at that time), which is how I was taught. White picket fence, husband, kids, dog and all. Boy did I get a wake up call. Here I am, afraid of men since all I've gotten is hurt from them, I stay single.
I feel stuck, afraid to move forward and scared to death I'll slide back to that dark place.
My biggest critic is Me. My best friend is depression. My daily accessories are anxiety and insecurity. My bff is isolation.
The best qualities to have? No. But I sure wish they could latch onto someone else and let me remember who I used to be.
 

DrownedFishOnFire

πŸ™‰πŸ™ˆπŸ™Š
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#2
Foremost, congrats on raising three wonderful people. And kudos to you on helping take care of your parents. Its quite a challenge and not many even can do that nor have the patience. That itself is a quality in yourself.

Some men are complete douchebags but having a girls night out with other women who gets it might do you a world of good. Everyone needs a friend or two to keep their wits about. I do hope you are able to get that mojo back and find great friends to hang out with once in a while.

Take Care
 
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