I just have these walls around my feelings, especially intimacy and romance. They keep just growing stronger and stronger as I get older. After this last thing I can feel that I am getting unable to feel good things for others. I am not really looking for any answers, maybe I am just venting to someone else in hopes that I can get some understanding. BDP can be hell, I have gotten much better with friendships, I just can't deal with romance and intimacy of that nature.