I should have kept my username as ''toomuchreality'', because that's how I always feel. I cant get interested in things that are fun, or light, or just daydream. I meant in real life sometimes even though I might hear back from someone, I wonder how true the care is for me. And the hard part with my son, is knowing he wants in here to be comfortable, he doesn't understand it hurts be to put my foot down and say no more. He texted some awful stuff about me. I don't understand how he can say I only care about myself, I'm doing this so he will grow up. I've had to say ''someday I'm not here anymore and you have to look after yourself and stand on your own 2 feet''.... this is the tough love. I can't go back anymore, it confuses him. Yet I feel like shit again.