I could only date someone that has picture evidence they have dated someone with a smaller penis
I am aware of fetlife and it is full of professional porn and erotica and is far from 'real life'. Reddit is full of trolls. And so what if some people do not enjoy a small penis? Many people do not enjoy many things but that does not mean that there are not people who do. I have an ex boyfriend with a particularly large penis and I can assure that not only was the sex entirely uninspiring and boring, it was also unpleasantly painful on many occasions.
It is a 'popular opinion' that men like their women to look like holywood stars and instagram influencers (ideally they would like them to look exactly like they do on instagram but without having used makeup of filters to get that way because natural beauty is better, but only if it is still perfect...) Those opinions are popular but it does not prevent the women who do not look like that from having satisfying relationships with men that are not arseholes.
You know what women like more than they like big penises?
It is a 'popular opinion' that men like their women to look like holywood stars and instagram influencers (ideally they would like them to look exactly like they do on instagram but without having used makeup of filters to get that way because natural beauty is better, but only if it is still perfect...) Those opinions are popular but it does not prevent the women who do not look like that from having satisfying relationships with men that are not arseholes.
You know what women like more than they like big penises?
- Men who care about what they think and feel and talk to them about their thoughts and feelings without an agenda.
- Men who don't parcel 'all women' into a box together like they are a set of dolls off a production line - who treat them like individuals with individual likes and dislikes.
- Men who are not obsessed with anyone's physical appearance but who, instead believe that personality and interests and opinions determine whether a person is worth their time and attention.
- Men who know that pleasing a woman in bed is more about foreplay and brain space and touch than it is about penetration and basic rutting.
- Men who know that getting a woman to bed in the first place is more about brain space and personality than it is about physical appearance.
I'm wondering where you're from, because honestly, your whole outlook here seems a bit stereotypical. You do know that there are all types of different families nowadays, right? A "good, strong" man does not necessarily equal a good father.
As far as struggling to perform, I think that a lot of it probably has to do with the fact that you're too worried about not being good enough. Of course that would impact anyone's performance. Your self-esteem needs some work. Would you agree with that much?
As far as struggling to perform, I think that a lot of it probably has to do with the fact that you're too worried about not being good enough. Of course that would impact anyone's performance. Your self-esteem needs some work. Would you agree with that much?
Dude...who cares?
A lot of women prefer masturbation even...It's not the same with us, as with you men as far as my male friends told me. I won't argue who has it easier, or harder. It depends on the person.
All that said, I'm sorry you feel strongly about this. We all have our own issues, and you have yours...hope you can get over it, though, and give more girls a chance without them needing to prove anything...
A lot of women prefer masturbation even...It's not the same with us, as with you men as far as my male friends told me. I won't argue who has it easier, or harder. It depends on the person.
All that said, I'm sorry you feel strongly about this. We all have our own issues, and you have yours...hope you can get over it, though, and give more girls a chance without them needing to prove anything...
I wholeheartedly agree with everything that the other posters have replied already to you. You're comparing yourself to people on fetlife? Do you think most women look like the women on there too? The vast majority of people in the world don't have the kind of bodies that are considered the norm on sites like these.
I imagine *this* is your problem.
I have no dick and I can get just about any woman I want so your attitude about women, the size of your cock and your absolute unwillingness to compensate for your (apparently small) one are the problem here. Women want to get off - yes - so do that for them in other ways if your dick isn't doing it for them. You aren't alone here cause there are plenty, millions of people in the same situation who are compensating with self confidence, attitude and frankly, SKILL.
I have no dick and I can get just about any woman I want so your attitude about women, the size of your cock and your absolute unwillingness to compensate for your (apparently small) one are the problem here. Women want to get off - yes - so do that for them in other ways if your dick isn't doing it for them. You aren't alone here cause there are plenty, millions of people in the same situation who are compensating with self confidence, attitude and frankly, SKILL.
THIS!
It truly isn't about what you've got or not. It's about you.
I've always had awful body confidence issues. I feel embarrassed out in public, even with close friends and still can't look at myself naked in a mirror (it's hard enough fully clothed). It's taken me a very long time to enjoy sex and not to worry what my partner is thinking. But I've finally realised that it really isn't about physical attributes.
Have you considered seeing a therapist about this?
It truly isn't about what you've got or not. It's about you.
I've always had awful body confidence issues. I feel embarrassed out in public, even with close friends and still can't look at myself naked in a mirror (it's hard enough fully clothed). It's taken me a very long time to enjoy sex and not to worry what my partner is thinking. But I've finally realised that it really isn't about physical attributes.
Have you considered seeing a therapist about this?
All my experiences with sex and women they have always been pleased with the results and things continued so I must have been doing something correctly, and I am not large in the least. Some women do prefer or at least claim they do want larger, but as pointed out above in another post too big can be painful, the vagina while flexible is only about 4" and until a woman's clitoris is on the inside as opposed to the outside skill and technique is more important than having a lance in the pants.
You’ve had mostly women and only two other guys respond.
Here’s a response from another guy, in case that would help.
I agree wholeheartedly that men’s issues get pushed to the side and ignored. I agree that, no matter what may be going on with men, there will be people who try to make it seem as though all women must have it worse.
They will look at the overwhelmingly higher percentage of male suicides, male homelessness, male drug use rates, male incarceration, the educational gap, and the shorter male lifespan, and then tell you that women have it harder in every aspect of life and that all men’s societal issues are purely the result of men’s choices.
This is bullshit.
But it is equally bullshit to go around telling women that their issues don’t exist either. It is flatly untrue, and extremely unlikely to garner you any sympathy.
Edit: now two men responded, one responded while I was typing
Edit: if you are having trouble with women (as a group, rather than one or two individual women), then it ain’t your dick that’s the problem, it’s your attitude.
Here’s a response from another guy, in case that would help.
I agree wholeheartedly that men’s issues get pushed to the side and ignored. I agree that, no matter what may be going on with men, there will be people who try to make it seem as though all women must have it worse.
They will look at the overwhelmingly higher percentage of male suicides, male homelessness, male drug use rates, male incarceration, the educational gap, and the shorter male lifespan, and then tell you that women have it harder in every aspect of life and that all men’s societal issues are purely the result of men’s choices.
This is bullshit.
But it is equally bullshit to go around telling women that their issues don’t exist either. It is flatly untrue, and extremely unlikely to garner you any sympathy.
Edit: now two men responded, one responded while I was typing
Edit: if you are having trouble with women (as a group, rather than one or two individual women), then it ain’t your dick that’s the problem, it’s your attitude.
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*sigh*
What was one person talking about something that plagues his mind turns into a slew of people ripping into him in several different ways that later gets derailed into a food fight for dung beetles: with all the passion and fervor of a foodfight, but all that's being flung around is quality grade manure.
As badly as Red has stated his aggrievement (and I do have a few points for you a number of lines below), the lashback may have been rather... Exaggerated. It is true that women want more in a man than penis size, be they shallow of sophisticated. However, it is also true that this
is a woman's ultimate mocking derision of a man. Akin to a man calling his partner a whale. So that can, at least, be understandable, no? It also doesn't sound very consistent if you accuse him of generalizing women from his experiences before proceeding to generalize what women 'actually want'. It is also true that, despite what people may actually want, they can also make hasty or unhealthy decisions that they didn't actually want in the end, and those decisions can hurt others as well. Can everyone here put their hand to their chest and say they have never done so?
You can tell a person that they have only ever met shallow women, but talking badly about them does not really do much to help the person who has been hurt by them, does it? Please think about that with a bit of a clearer head before taking visceral reactions.
Now, Red, despite the defense, there is a few points you will need to take into account:
-You have become rather... obsessed with the theme, to the point of animosity. That is not healthy. It will feed on itself and grow, and it will overcome you. You should also remember that basing what is common from fetish sites and porn (this includes amateur, because the people who engage in it are mainly the very same people who have confidence in their multiple attributes) is an idea so stupid, it shot itself into space on a homemade rocket to prove
-If you're bringing penis size into the conversation, whether out of your insecurities, or anything, you're doing something wrong. People can get somewhat grossed out by that.
-When in a relationship, think of what you want from that person, and what they may want from you. If you clash, you're just gonna see sparks, and they'll just end up creating a dangerous fire that WILL burn you.
-In regards to sex, you are going at it the wrong way. You may need to experiment a bit more with the other party, what makes one tick. You focus your actions in how you can make the other party feel, and you trust the other party in that they will have the same intention. This will bring us to the last point:
-Confidence. And I do not mean self-confidence. That is easy, compared to the fact that you also need to have confidence on the other party. It's not just in yourself that you have lost trust, but also in those around you. I'm not saying it's easy to gain or regain, or even whether it's possible. But I am saying it is what you need the most. Even if you meet someone that doesn't care about penis size, the doubt you have about your size or performance PALES in comparison to the doubt you have about the person you are with, which will constantly gnaw at your head and heart, and cause you to fall back on whatever qualities you have.
What was one person talking about something that plagues his mind turns into a slew of people ripping into him in several different ways that later gets derailed into a food fight for dung beetles: with all the passion and fervor of a foodfight, but all that's being flung around is quality grade manure.
As badly as Red has stated his aggrievement (and I do have a few points for you a number of lines below), the lashback may have been rather... Exaggerated. It is true that women want more in a man than penis size, be they shallow of sophisticated. However, it is also true that this
is a woman's ultimate mocking derision of a man. Akin to a man calling his partner a whale. So that can, at least, be understandable, no? It also doesn't sound very consistent if you accuse him of generalizing women from his experiences before proceeding to generalize what women 'actually want'. It is also true that, despite what people may actually want, they can also make hasty or unhealthy decisions that they didn't actually want in the end, and those decisions can hurt others as well. Can everyone here put their hand to their chest and say they have never done so?
You can tell a person that they have only ever met shallow women, but talking badly about them does not really do much to help the person who has been hurt by them, does it? Please think about that with a bit of a clearer head before taking visceral reactions.
Now, Red, despite the defense, there is a few points you will need to take into account:
-You have become rather... obsessed with the theme, to the point of animosity. That is not healthy. It will feed on itself and grow, and it will overcome you. You should also remember that basing what is common from fetish sites and porn (this includes amateur, because the people who engage in it are mainly the very same people who have confidence in their multiple attributes) is an idea so stupid, it shot itself into space on a homemade rocket to prove
-If you're bringing penis size into the conversation, whether out of your insecurities, or anything, you're doing something wrong. People can get somewhat grossed out by that.
-When in a relationship, think of what you want from that person, and what they may want from you. If you clash, you're just gonna see sparks, and they'll just end up creating a dangerous fire that WILL burn you.
-In regards to sex, you are going at it the wrong way. You may need to experiment a bit more with the other party, what makes one tick. You focus your actions in how you can make the other party feel, and you trust the other party in that they will have the same intention. This will bring us to the last point:
-Confidence. And I do not mean self-confidence. That is easy, compared to the fact that you also need to have confidence on the other party. It's not just in yourself that you have lost trust, but also in those around you. I'm not saying it's easy to gain or regain, or even whether it's possible. But I am saying it is what you need the most. Even if you meet someone that doesn't care about penis size, the doubt you have about your size or performance PALES in comparison to the doubt you have about the person you are with, which will constantly gnaw at your head and heart, and cause you to fall back on whatever qualities you have.
Not when it comes to penis size, I haven't. Nor would I ever judge a man I cared about on such a thing. Or even a man I don't care about, for that matter. That's just juvenile, and women who do it, deserve to be judged right back by those men. But not all people are like that. Not even the majority, I don't think. And people are generalizing what women want because the OP is not the first to come on here and say that penis size is one of those things, which is insulting.
Hi mfor, I appreciate your feedback and others as well, but yours seems to be the voice of reason and can close this discussion. I'd love to talk to you more whenever you have time 
. I definitely need to see a psychiatrist or someone to help as I acknowledge this way of thinking isn't healthy. I was quite upset when writing this post and didn't expect it to blow up in the posts as it did and for people to throw digs at each-other. There is more to my past which is why I'm on this site ultimately and keep coming back.
If somebody would like to discuss with me further why I felt this way earlier today, feel free to message me. Ultimately, I know I'm not the only guy that feels this way or has gone through something similar so I'm hoping the advice shared here can actually help a guy in need.
. I definitely need to see a psychiatrist or someone to help as I acknowledge this way of thinking isn't healthy. I was quite upset when writing this post and didn't expect it to blow up in the posts as it did and for people to throw digs at each-other. There is more to my past which is why I'm on this site ultimately and keep coming back.If somebody would like to discuss with me further why I felt this way earlier today, feel free to message me. Ultimately, I know I'm not the only guy that feels this way or has gone through something similar so I'm hoping the advice shared here can actually help a guy in need.
Sorry if this is TMI
I'm sorry that you feel this way @RedTerminator13
I have only had 3 sexual partners, all with varying penis shapes and sizes. My first boyfriend had quite a large penis, but I am kinda tight down there so sometimes sex used to be painful, especially if he didn't insert it right, it used to tear me down below. My second boyfriend had an average size penis. I can't complain about his penis size, sex was fine if not a little boring. I'm now with a new boyfriend and we have had sex a couple of times. He has the smallest penis out of my boyfriends but I kinda like it because he has to go deeper which stimulates the clitoris, it also works well with me on top.
I genuinely think that guys don't need to worry about their penis size because everyone is different. Some are big, some are small. Just like women's bust sizes. I think it really depends on the connection you have with your partner as to whether you enjoy sex or not. Women often struggle to cum during sex. That's just a fact of life. But we have other means to make women cum which can leave a girl satisfied. I think it's taboo to talk about your penis size worries but you will find that if you talk to women about what they really want during sex, you will find that they just want that "connection" during sex. It's an amazing feeling and being able to cum through whatever means is just a bonus.
I'm sorry that you feel this way @RedTerminator13
I have only had 3 sexual partners, all with varying penis shapes and sizes. My first boyfriend had quite a large penis, but I am kinda tight down there so sometimes sex used to be painful, especially if he didn't insert it right, it used to tear me down below. My second boyfriend had an average size penis. I can't complain about his penis size, sex was fine if not a little boring. I'm now with a new boyfriend and we have had sex a couple of times. He has the smallest penis out of my boyfriends but I kinda like it because he has to go deeper which stimulates the clitoris, it also works well with me on top.
I genuinely think that guys don't need to worry about their penis size because everyone is different. Some are big, some are small. Just like women's bust sizes. I think it really depends on the connection you have with your partner as to whether you enjoy sex or not. Women often struggle to cum during sex. That's just a fact of life. But we have other means to make women cum which can leave a girl satisfied. I think it's taboo to talk about your penis size worries but you will find that if you talk to women about what they really want during sex, you will find that they just want that "connection" during sex. It's an amazing feeling and being able to cum through whatever means is just a bonus.
Wow. Okay well... Hey there! Im sorry that youre feeling insecure about this particular... dilemma. Evidently I think theres more issue to this than the "size" of things per se.. Being a young lady myself I can tell you not all women care about that kind of stuff. Sure, theres shallow people, but please know it doesnt speak for the majority, & Im sorry that a couple bad apples has warped your perspective a bit.... Evidently my honest advice after reading this thread is maybe step away from the dating & other websites, you could really benefit from some self reflection, especially for your self esteem issues & perspective. & I cannot stress this enough, if someones judging you for this particular physicality I dont quite believe that would be a relationship you would want any way...Relationships are & should be far more than intimacy of that sort, hell my bf could have nothing & Id probably still love the hell out of him, I wont lie! Remember love is far more important than lust if you want to gain something serious & genuine with someone who will love you for you. I am a bit taken aback with the statement that you believe men have it harder than women. Honestly? Dont we all have it hard in a sense? I mean I think when it comes to dating theres negatives both ways.. Our society is so judgy & has too high of expectations telling us what we "need to be & look like", & a lot take that as blue prints it seems. I mean, its no contest, lifes about obstacle if thats in dating, work, this or that you know, what ever. People of all walks of life can find dating difficult, man or woman no matter the insecurity. I guarantee you theres someone out there for ya who will value you no matter what but for now... definitely take some time to yourself, maybe the one will come to you, & by that time perhaps itll be enough time for self analysis & a bit more mindfulness, figuring out what you want & finding maturity in perspective... I feel mindfulness will be a very important tool for you in the future 🌸 Hopefully this doesnt sound like nonsense lol Im a bit fatigued today.
Hi there, thank's for replying! No you're spot on, I have taken a break and focused on myself in my life right now. I am trying to practice mindfulness and live a calmer more relaxed life and have a higher self-esteem. I am opening myself out there so it is hard some days and I project that inward which isn't right either
Hey @RedTerminator13
Looks like you’ve had some great info, food for thought.
I can’t add much, except your reference to genetics. More specifically penis size. You can make it bigger if you truly feel inferior because of it. There are penis implants. They generally add a couple inches in length and about an inch of girth. Not to mention, that there are surgeons specializing in gender reassignment! If a surgeon can make clitoral tissue into a penis, they can help with size. Body dsymorphia is real. Know there are ways to change. Perhaps look into some of the transgender sites to discuss body dysmorphia in more detail.
be well! 😀
Looks like you’ve had some great info, food for thought.
I can’t add much, except your reference to genetics. More specifically penis size. You can make it bigger if you truly feel inferior because of it. There are penis implants. They generally add a couple inches in length and about an inch of girth. Not to mention, that there are surgeons specializing in gender reassignment! If a surgeon can make clitoral tissue into a penis, they can help with size. Body dsymorphia is real. Know there are ways to change. Perhaps look into some of the transgender sites to discuss body dysmorphia in more detail.
be well! 😀