hey, it's been a long time since I've checked this forum but I'm feeling pretty bad so
(excuse any english mistakes as it is not my first language)
okay, so my point is I just don't feel like living, I mean I never asked for it, I've just been thrown in a mercyless world and expected to work my whole life to get money and to survive. The thing is I don't want to. I'm giving up.
I'm in last year of high school, I'm french, and french educational system is pretty shitty. So there's a huge amount of pressure on me from about everyone, I have to choose what I want to do next year, then what I want to do for the rest of my life. Exept I don't really like anything enough to do it my whole life, I know after a few years or even a few months I'll get bored and probably even hate it.
So if I keep on living, I'll basically spend my youth preparing my adulthood, and my adulthood preparing the last 5/10 years of my life that I'll probably won't enjoy anyway because I'll be old. When am I actually living in that life? nowhere. I don't want it. I never asked for it. I'm average, no one will notice I left, and I can't do this anymore anyway.
(excuse any english mistakes as it is not my first language)
okay, so my point is I just don't feel like living, I mean I never asked for it, I've just been thrown in a mercyless world and expected to work my whole life to get money and to survive. The thing is I don't want to. I'm giving up.
I'm in last year of high school, I'm french, and french educational system is pretty shitty. So there's a huge amount of pressure on me from about everyone, I have to choose what I want to do next year, then what I want to do for the rest of my life. Exept I don't really like anything enough to do it my whole life, I know after a few years or even a few months I'll get bored and probably even hate it.
So if I keep on living, I'll basically spend my youth preparing my adulthood, and my adulthood preparing the last 5/10 years of my life that I'll probably won't enjoy anyway because I'll be old. When am I actually living in that life? nowhere. I don't want it. I never asked for it. I'm average, no one will notice I left, and I can't do this anymore anyway.