Suicidal Ideation – How Do You Cope?

Sometimes it seems your thoughts are creating a hole too deep to ever climb out of...

“What do you do when suicidal ideations are too much?” This type of question is fairly commonplace in the community from people looking for answers on how to cope and make life more bearable. While it may be common on the SF Forum, it is not the type of question the average person can ask his work mates about over lunch. It is the type of thing that having the support of thousands that have felt the same way can get some honest responses to.

In this particular instance there were lots of really good hints and tips, but one was way above the average post reply and stood out as worth sharing on a bigger platform. This is the reply from SF Member Citizen Insane, a member of the community for nearly 5 years. In that time he has had a lot of personal experience, as well as talking to literally hundreds of others in similar situations and getting tips to help himself. Hopefully his sharing will help others too.

Forums and Chat

“What do you do when suicidal ideations are too much?”?

Suicidal ideations are especially tough when the people in your environment do not seem to care and when there’s no hope for relief in sight. Relief from pain, emotionally and in some cases physically.

 It could feel like the world is completely blind to that fact and then the mental filter, the person who suffers has, will keep trying to confirm it that he/she indeed is alone and feels alone in this battle.

Finding a way to express these feelings is quite important, I think.

If I were to be suicidal, am I even asking myself the right questions?

 

Q1: Why do you wish to end it?

A: “Because I do not feel that I can recover from that which has happened to me in this life. There’s no cure for this illness and/or disorder I have. This is no life for me to live this way, every day I’m suffering and to what end?”

What the (sort of imaginary) person is describing is mostly about his despair and loss of hope. And thereby not talking about his/her actual desires. Not the desire and wish to end it.

Desires that could be: “I wish to be happy, I wish to live a life worth living and fighting for”. Somewhere in our minds, we got to actually believe that this is what a life should be about.

Happiness is never a permanent feeling, though you can be content with yourself over a longer period of time. The body is for sure not made to make a person “happy” and the brain is looking for a lot more than just that as well. Nowhere in evolution was there a single entity who was happy all the time.

 

Often I ask myself: “Even if I got those happy feelings in my head right now, would I really be doing anything differently in my life?” I already tell my family that I care for them and have love for them, even if my emotions are mostly numb. I am able to be entertained with my hobbies, like reading, music and playing the guitar, despite my concentration not always being optimal.

I would advise that you find something that you can still enjoy doing or an activity that makes you not feel the discomfort you usually have. I can’t answer which activity that may be, you are the person who knows yourself the best and what you like.

As opposed to the body having a limit to physical ailments, sickness and injuries, a person his/her mind is more flexible.

So what does a life look like in the end, when the person has endured all of the mental & emotional pains his/her brain has inflicted onto them?

Perhaps the question should be: What happens when the person finds his desires not fulfilled, should that person adjust his/her expectations of life in general?

-Citizen Insane

 

 

There were of course other answers and advice – all useful as well and all having the benefit of real experience behind them-

A few more from other members-

My number 1 recommendation for “being in a bad place” is to do something. Get up, go out, do something and “get away” from the trapped hopeless horrible – as in physically get away from it by going somewhere else. Sounds a bit nuts maybe, but being busy and changing your surroundings I really believe helps. Even if I go get a coffee in a coffee shop and doodle for a while. I also find planning incredibly helpful. Lists and colour codes and mind maps and “what my life is going to look like in 5 years, 10 years” etc. Give myself something positive to focus on that does not consider the option of dying.

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I like to listen to sad or angry music, or a touching film. Sometimes I feel the only way to get past it (depression/suicidal thoughts) is to go straight through it. That’s not always true though. Sometimes I try and force myself to do things I don’t want to, like: listen to upbeat music, leave the house (anywhere, even a trip to the shops if I don’t need anything), dance, sing, treat myself to nice food, and watch a new film or show. Sometimes it works, other times not, but a lot of times I have managed to free myself of those thoughts is by just getting back into the swing of things and making that change to feel better. Maybe some of these will help you too, I hope so.

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These are some things I do…read, write, talk to people, listen to music, play music, clean, spend time with my nephew, find something that makes me laugh, watch tv and movies I like. Just try to block the thoughts as best I can.

 

 

If you have your own questions that you would like to ask real people that have felt the same way – and want real answers to them stop into the community. Not all the answers will work for everybody, but there will be real answers from real people, and not just telling you to “get over it”.

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6 Comments

  • Hi my name is Billie Cross I’ve been struggling really a lot as my mum and uncle they both have huntingtons diesease and I’m really struggling to come to terms with it any advice given would be grateful appreciated I’ve been self harming although I’ve stop for 4 weeks I’ve been feeling suicidal also

  • Hi Billie – I am so sorry for the situation you are in – that must be so difficult. Well done for not self harming for 4 weeks! Have you spoken to the doctor about support groups in your area? It is an awful lot to deal with on your own.

    If you want to join our community, we have active forums and a live chat – lots of people who have been dealing with self harm and who will have tips and ideas to help you. Plus it never hurts to have a few more people to talk to.

    The best advice I have is to try to remember the things that make you feel good, and do them as often as you can, even if they don’t make you feel “good” at the moment, they can help keep you from feeling worse. It is hard to make good choices for yourself when you hurt so much – but you need to remember that even though the people you love are sick, it is important for you AND them to take care of yourself too.

    I hope to see you around the community Billie – I am Freya – feel free to drop me a private message on the forums any time.

  • I would like to be able to chat with other people and join the live chat groups are these online ? I have been feeling suicidal since November last year and I am amazed I managed to stop self harming for 4 weeks also didn’t think I could do it although sometimes when I’m feeling so low I do revert back to this I need help badly spoke to my doctor he has put me down for a counselling thing but he has said it will take 3 months before I can join it as I’m on a waiting list

  • Waiting lists are a huge pain when you need help now. But well done for talking to your doctor and being on the list is better than not being on the list.

    If you click “use forums and chat now” it will take you to our community page – just tap sign up on the top right and fill out the sign up form. It can take a little while for someone to get around to approving your account (from 10 mins to a few hours depending on who is online) and after that you will be able to see the chat room in the bottom right of the screen and post on the forums to get help from our community.

    Stay strong – you are doing such a good job, staying clear of self harm. Remember to look after yourself.

  • I want to kill myself almost all the time and i cope by looking at and making internet memes and i find it hard to type and communicate when i am depressed i really want to die

  • Hi my name is SmilingButCrying…
    Obviously not my real name, just like my life. I am battling with thoughts of wanting to cross over for quite a while now and am finding I am becoming more and more aggressive and impatient as time passes. Virtually the ONLY reason I have not is my two daughters aged 18 and 16. But am wondering at what point even that will be enough —- there is not a day that the desire crossed my path to cross over …. and I feel ashamed about feeling this way.

    Every morning when I wake up I am disappointed that I did ….

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