How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[LumberJack]

You know the feeing of being mostly alright and yet at the same time the dark is very close.

only too well. Pls take care. It takes energy to fight this off in my experience, and when that energy is depleted, I succumb. I wish for this to be different for you.

 

[cymbele]

I did Nothing today. I feel like a failure. I took too much medication last night - forgot and couldn't remember if I took an initial dose - for the pain in my leg (epidural was a failure) and slept to 10;30 which I haven't done in years. Only got up to feed the cat. i was dizzy and foggy most of the day so chose not to drive all day which means tomorrow will be a blur of errands. I have to watch that.

 

[AvidFan]

Apprehensive. Time for bed, night guard in, hoping I don't have a repeat of the 5am dental explosion 🦷

 

[LumberJack]

I'm feeling bizarrely fearful. Like I did something wrong that I didn't know was wrong, nor did I intend it to be destructive to anyone, but at the same time most people would want to see me buried alive with 30,000 fire ants over. I've had run ins with fire ants. They are vicious.

I cannot come up with ideas from my recent memory of anything outrageous I've done since the last time I was feeling more stable. This seems to be making me more anxious. My anxiety voice keeps saying, "well - what if you don't remember what you did, or you still cannot see that it was wrong?"
It's like a Chinese finger trap. If I stop trying to examine my conscience, it will stop bothering me, but since it is bothering me I keep reverting to certainty seeking.

 

[LumberJack]

I did Nothing today. I feel like a failure. I took too much medication last night - forgot and couldn't remember if I took an initial dose - for the pain in my leg (epidural was a failure) and slept to 10;30 which I haven't done in years. Only got up to feed the cat. i was dizzy and foggy most of the day so chose not to drive all day which means tomorrow will be a blur of errands. I have to watch that.

I have a highly sedating medication and so it naturally follows that I take it at night, but it also messes with my short term memory such that I normally take it earlier in my nighttime routine, but then by the end of it, I have no recollection of whether I did or didn't. It takes an hour to kick in, so if I take it right at bedtime I'm in limbo between having already wrapped up for the night and falling asleep. FWIW I can do this with daytime meds too, though!

LMK if you'd be interested in possible ideas for tracking it. Since my memory is affected, I cannot rely on writing things down so I have implemented mechanisms that can't be defeated by, e.g., my failure to write something down.

I have also gotten not a whole lot done today, so I can relate to that.

 

[AvidFan]

Awake. Got some sleep, woke at about usual time with mouth grumbling but guard was still in and it was 4/10 pain rather than 10/10 like the 5am wake up the previous day. The jaw is still putting pressure down, even if the actual worst bit, the surface contact and pressure which started this, is reduced. Have naproxen and other pain relievers on standby, so at least I don't have to engage with the medical system for pain relief currently. And hopefully it can start settling down, but like ribs or pelvic floor (there's a theme in my life!) it is hard to simply rest a part of the mouth for 2 weeks, so will keep to mitigation and hope with time the inflammation starts to go down. Saturday today, which is nice, the one day I refuse to do any work of any kind.

 

[Angie]

You know the feeing of being mostly alright and yet at the same time the dark is very close.

Yes

 

[Lane]

Feeling a bit anxious about the weekend when i should be the complete opposite.

 

[JanisSPK]

Not knowing what to do…..I’m just laying in bed still. It feels like the fire has been totally sucked out of me and so I’m meditating some and reading here how everyone is doing this morning.
I don’t know what to do or think

 

[Lane]

Not knowing what to do…..I’m just laying in bed still. It feels like the fire has been totally sucked out of me and so I’m meditating some and reading here how everyone is doing this morning.
I don’t know what to do or think

Doing ok Janis, thanks. Take it slow and give yourself grace today.

 

[JanisSPK]

Doing ok Janis, thanks. Take it slow and give yourself grace today.

Grace is today's space, Thank you

 

[Angie]

Started feeling unwell physically last night.

Suspecting allergies to ragweed etc. But who knows?

All I need to do is walk into the kitchen and take meds and that seems like a big task atm

 

[ClassicsFan]

Like I want to be in my coworker's shoes and be the one that's hurt instead of her.

 

[AvidFan]

I'm alright - it's Saturday and am eating cake.

 

[Windhover]

In a strange place, emotionally. I'm in a touchy situation with a person who can't defend their words escalates the disfunction by descend into hollering. At me.

 

[cev77]

edit- wrong thread, sorry

 

[Lane]

In a strange place, emotionally. I'm in a touchy situation with a person who can't defend their words escalates the disfunction by descend into hollering. At me.

Sorry you're dealing with that @Windhover. No one should raise their voice to you. Wishing you good solutions

 

[JanisSPK]

Sorry you're dealing with that @Windhover. No one should raise their voice to you. Wishing you good solutions

No hollering allowed. Remove self from person doing it even if it means walking outside or even taking a little drive.

 

[JanisSPK]

A little better and calmer. Speech is clear, no ringing in ears, vision clear. I took a nasty fall on the tile floor hitting my chin and face first when returning inside and was moving at my usual fast rate of speed. Foot got caught in my pj bottoms. I saw stars for sure
I’ve been lying down for about an hour and my body is relaxing. I hope I don’t have a black and blue face and chest on my upcoming bday, lol 😂 what a goofball I am🙃🙃🙃