Now before I begin as a side note I do not hate other autistic people. They are all valid. This is simply internalised ableism I suppose, self hatred directed towards myself only.
I hate being autistic. I hate it so, so much.
Understanding nothing. Not getting jokes. Constantly being weird. Obsessing over obscure, random things. Getting frustrated by small things. Getting overwhelmed by tiny things like multiple people talking at once. Doing stupid weird stims and body movements when I feel things. Needing everything explained for me like a toddler, even sometimes then I dont understand it.
I hate it. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. If I had a way to remove autism from myself I'd do it in a heartbeat.
I know I'm valid, and being different is okay, I just HATE being autistic. I love other people who are autistic, I'm proud of them. But I'm not proud of me.
I HATE IT.
I hate being autistic. I hate it so, so much.
Understanding nothing. Not getting jokes. Constantly being weird. Obsessing over obscure, random things. Getting frustrated by small things. Getting overwhelmed by tiny things like multiple people talking at once. Doing stupid weird stims and body movements when I feel things. Needing everything explained for me like a toddler, even sometimes then I dont understand it.
I hate it. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. If I had a way to remove autism from myself I'd do it in a heartbeat.
I know I'm valid, and being different is okay, I just HATE being autistic. I love other people who are autistic, I'm proud of them. But I'm not proud of me.
I HATE IT.