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#1
My grandmother had a stroke in February of this year. The day before that I found out my girlfriend had cheated on me and slept with someone. After we break up she starts dating a new guy and she doesn't know his last name. I constantly saw her in school with him, he was usually kissing her and grabbing her ass. After they broke up and we started talking things through, it seemed like maybe it would start being okay again. Then I gave her a ticket to my graduation and she didn't even come. Now I'm a graduate with no experience in anything but fast food and a one-year program I took in high school dealing with computers. I can't get a job because even the "entry-level" and internship jobs expect me to have 2 to 3 years of experience in the field, but I can't get experience because nobody will hire me. I don't want to go back to fast food or retail. I don't know why I wasn't enough and why I deserved to be cheated on. I was put into a facility for depression and suicidal thoughts before I graduated. My mother was worried I wasn't going to graduate and on top of that she had to deal with my lifelong depression suddenly being exposed while she's simultaneously dealing with her own mother's stroke. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life. Everybody always says that you get what you deserve. Maybe I deserved to be cheated on. Maybe I deserve to feel guilty for putting my mother through all of the worry. If I do deserve it then there's not point in me being alive anymore. If I don't deserve it and this is just life's way of showing me that it's a bitch then I don't want to live in a world where I try so hard to be a good person only to be shit on by forces outside of my control. Either way I'm done
 
#2
Sorry to hear that you are going through this Indigos

Everybody always says that you get what you deserve
Mostly, I think the opposite is true
putting my mother through all of the worry
There was a study that ranked stressful life events. Loss of a job, divorce, and the death of a spouse were all very high on the list.

The death of a child was by far the number one stress.

If your mom cares about you at all, your suicide would devastate her. If you ever talk to a parent who's child has committed suicide, it might help you to understand what suicide does to the loved ones left behind.

Of course she's going to worry if you're depressed or suicidal, but that's nothing compared to what would happen to her if you actually committed suicide

Now I'm a graduate with no experience in anything but fast food and a one-year program I took in high school dealing with computers. I can't get a job because even the "entry-level" and internship jobs expect me to have 2 to 3 years of experience in the field, but I can't get experience because nobody will hire me
I might be able to make some suggestions about what to do, if you're interested. Not guaranteeing they'd be good, but maybe something worth thinking about.

The day before that I found out my girlfriend had cheated on me and slept with someone. After we break up she starts dating a new guy and she doesn't know his last name. I constantly saw her in school with him, he was usually kissing her and grabbing her ass. After they broke up and we started talking things through, it seemed like maybe it would start being okay again. Then I gave her a ticket to my graduation and she didn't even come
She doesn't sound like someone who treats you respectfully
 

MarvelFan

Vanity of Vanities
#3
I am sorry your girlfriend cheated on you and your grandma had a stroke I have been a laborer my whole life what you would call grunt work you can move up in class but it takes time.

You don't deserve to be shit on but don't sell yourself short there is nothing wrong with hard work its what makes me respect the value of a dollar, I grew up poor with nothing and dont have much and never got any help from anyone and I learned that through independence that it builds alot more character than someone who had an inheritance grew up in a middle class/rich family that was spoon fed all their lives.
 

gypsylee

SF Supporter
#4
My grandmother had a stroke in February of this year. The day before that I found out my girlfriend had cheated on me and slept with someone. After we break up she starts dating a new guy and she doesn't know his last name. I constantly saw her in school with him, he was usually kissing her and grabbing her ass. After they broke up and we started talking things through, it seemed like maybe it would start being okay again. Then I gave her a ticket to my graduation and she didn't even come. Now I'm a graduate with no experience in anything but fast food and a one-year program I took in high school dealing with computers. I can't get a job because even the "entry-level" and internship jobs expect me to have 2 to 3 years of experience in the field, but I can't get experience because nobody will hire me. I don't want to go back to fast food or retail. I don't know why I wasn't enough and why I deserved to be cheated on. I was put into a facility for depression and suicidal thoughts before I graduated. My mother was worried I wasn't going to graduate and on top of that she had to deal with my lifelong depression suddenly being exposed while she's simultaneously dealing with her own mother's stroke. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life. Everybody always says that you get what you deserve. Maybe I deserved to be cheated on. Maybe I deserve to feel guilty for putting my mother through all of the worry. If I do deserve it then there's not point in me being alive anymore. If I don't deserve it and this is just life's way of showing me that it's a bitch then I don't want to live in a world where I try so hard to be a good person only to be shit on by forces outside of my control. Either way I'm done
Hi @Indigos

My daughter turned 17 on Monday :)

There is absolutely a point in you being alive - you’re very young for a start and the thing about that is you not only have so much time to create a good life, you probably don’t think all that clearly. My daughter is pretty mature for her age but quite often she’s so emotional she can’t think straight at all, not to mention how quickly her moods change. Then there’s your mother, who would be devastated for the rest of her life.

There’s lots of support here from very compassionate and insightful people. I hope you like it and stick around :)
 

Petal

~*Mod Extraordinaire*~
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#5
Hello, I'm sorry for all you have gone through, it must be a living nightmare but you are wrong, you do not deserve to feel this way. Can you talk to a therapist about how you feel. There's no being done :( you really do have so much to live for and your mom needs you a lot more than you think she does. I hope you come back and talk to us some more, we're here and we're listening.
 
#6
Hey! Sorry this is going on. I went through the same problems after I graduated. I had to keep my high school job for 5 years before I started moving up. They would tell me the same thing "We need more experience". I ended up attending a community college and started studying diesel mechanics, welding and hydraulics. I got lucky and found a place I wanted to work and I talked them into accepting my college time as "experience". I worked my butt off and started moving up in the ladder. Eventually I found a job that I figured, I would never get. I put in for it ..and got it. I now manage a large fleet. Long story short- Dont give up. Keep trying. I will be praying for you and hope to hear from you soon!
 
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