No friends. That's right, none. I am not joking or exaggerating in the least bit when I say this. People don't dare to be around me. All throughout middle and high school, everyone on campus has always put in their best effort to stay away from me. I've also never had a GF. All around me, I seem to be surrounded by nothing but romantic partners. Hugging, kissing, cuddling, looking at happy romantic couples kissing hurts my head. Back when I was 14, I began to get depression, and it only continues to get stronger the more I grow up and live alone. When I was 16 I began to get suicidal thoughts. I never had any plans or took action, but those ideas began to exist in my head. By the time I was 17, I actually tried, and I came pretty close a few times. but for some reason I stop right at the part where I make that final move to end it all. I <Mod Edit:Methods> but stopped right before I made the cut. I have no idea why this is. As of right now, I am living at college with my 3 roommates who do have full girlfriend relationships and plenty of friends, and they honestly aren't afraid to rub it in my face. I actually tried online dating and I found a few girls that seemed to be interested in me, but just earlier today, they both decided to change their mind about me. Right after we had plans to meet in person. I'm crushed and I was seriously considering putting an end to it today. I am seeing a therapist right now but I'm not sure how well she understands me. I need to meet new people in person, face to face. What I really need right now is to talk to someone one on one, someone who is going through a similar experience or understands what I am talking about. I really need someone to talk to.
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