abuse

"Why don't you have a boyfriend?" A lot of my friends have had raised this question and shoved it on my face, and my answer is always and will always be the same. " I do not have one because I do not feel that I need one because the love that my parents are giving me is good enough for me."...

Feeling so ashamed about abuse. Just want to die. :(

I have been struggling with feeling more depressed lately. Just want to stay in bed and be asleep all day. Just haven't been feeling that motivated lately. I also came close to "method" on Monday. I really don't know why I've been feeling like this lately. Just don't care about life as...

I just do not. I tried to spend as much time as possible asleep this past weekend. Being asleep, gives me a break. I am hating being awake. I cannot get my brain to stop thinking about abuse.

Ugh. Hate what I am remembering right now. Mom hitting herself and calling herself stupid. Daring me to agree. Feeling responsible for it. For all the stuff mom hates about her life. WTF. Wish this would all go away.

My entire life can be summed up as a series of miseries with occasional short breaks never lasting more than a few months. -Born -Big brother would hit me as soon as I could crawl (video evidence) -Dad had bad temper... -Just as my dad started easing off I started getting bullied at school...

I cannot stand the little girl in me telling me it was my fault. I just cannot live with the guilt of being responsible.

Why did my brain choose March to suddenly start remember all this stuff that happened years ago. Why now? Why did memories have to come back and interrupt and mess up my life. I want it to be what it was. I hate what it is now.

I just found out that my dad's uncle passed away. My parents want me to come home for a few days for the funeral. I do not know if I am ready to go home. My parents would want to talk to me and there are things that I really do not want to tell them. Just thinking about my parents coming to...

I cannot deal with stuff. I don't want things to be true, yet I know they are. I can't stand being here while knowing that stuff happened.

Why do they keep coming back. I do not want to remember more. I hate the sensation of wanting to flee yet being frozen at the same time. They are making me anxious and making me want to self harm.

I want the pain to stop. It hurts so much. I want the memories to stop. I don't want to keep remembering the insults said at me and being scared as a little girl. I don't want to remember being threatened and being scared she might kill me. I don't want to remember being in the park and...

Sometimes I feel like I will feel the effects of the rape and sexual abuse forever. It has definitely changed me as a person and the way I see things. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be normal again and it all happened when I was so young that I don't think I was ever normal to begin with. I...

Yesterday I did one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I finally opened up to my parents about the sexual molestation I suffered at the hands of a coach and how badly it has affected me and how I wish that they had done more. They wish they had done more too (they found out a few years...

So I told my mom that I had been feeling anxious this past year and had talked to a doctor. Then I told her that I went to a school counsellor and that memories started coming back. I told her that I think a man touched me when I was like maybe 3-4. So what does she tell me, well all students...

I went in total isolation once I found out that my ex boyfriend was a Sociopath. I feel like I want to throw up, I feel sick to my stomach. I've been crying for weeks and everyone is trying to be there for me, however I know it's going to take awhile before I can heal. Especially since I've been...

****Triggering warning**** This will probably be my last post for awhile. I have severe depression and suffer with PTSD and low self esteem due to being abused for 3 and half years. I got out of a abusive relationship and I'm easily triggered by things. Everyone keeps suggesting that I go out...

lately even getting out of bed feels like a chore to me. i am tired of dealing with abuse memories and anxiety. i want to die, but at the same time, i already feel like im dead. like perhaps i died after my first suicide attempt and this is just the afterlife (and it really, really sucks)...

I'm suffering from depression, PTSD, low self esteem and my therapist said I have some aspects of borderline. I told her how I don't push people away and how I can maintain relationships. I'm actually really happy when I have friends, friends keep me happy and help me from me slipping away. I...